Doug Stanhope: Deadbeat Hero Page #3

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They don't have to work at UPS on Super Tuesday.

They have nothing to do,

hang around the polls, judge you, and vote.

They're bitter:
"Why's he smiling? There's must

be something wrong with him, vote NO.

Whatever is he's doing. He's smiling."

We don't vote. We got sh*t to do.

Right?

And that's why they have to put the argument

in the old people context.

Don't worry, old people are gonna...

Baby boomers are gonna start to die in droves.

And it's a good thing. I know a lot of them are parents,

but sorry, you gotta go. Sorry, goodbye.

Yeah. Your day's over and there's

new sh*t that you won't accept.

Because you... People do that...

Old people, they look back at the old days,

and it was good because they were young.

But they act like that was the Day.

No it was cause youth is good.

That's gone. You're f***ed.

It's not the Day,

and then they reject anything that's new.

It's like we do with f***ing hip-hop

if you're in your thirty.

"F*** that, that ain't music.

We had music, back when 38 Special was around".

F***ing kill ourselvelves for the hypocrisy, right?

But that's why they use

the medicinal marijuana argument.

Cause that... If you put in a medical context then all

old people are all sympathy and heart straight, you know.

"Oh, we don't want to get high.

This is really just about Jimmy with glaucoma."

"Bring out milky-eye Jim, he gets the old people."

And all people see the milky-eyes and they go:

"My friend Fred from Normandy had milky-eyes

the last time I saw him and..."

...Vote YES!". Right?

It's a bullshit argument, but you waste too much time.

Start the argument where it starts.

"I have the right to do

whatever the hell I want to my own body."

"And if it kills me slowly, happy for me.

F*** you, clack-clack, stop me."

Start the argument. Cause you're wasting my time.

You're gonna spend 25 years, so milky-eye Jim can get

government substed eyes, a bong head of some dirt weed...

I want to buy mushrooms at Wallmart tomorrow.

Let's f***ing just fight this one out.

All illegal narcotics - Are medicinal.

Boredom - Is a disease worse than cancer.

Drugs cure it.

With a little unknown[??]

bad side effects if used as directed.

Life's temporary, for a reason.

It gets boring after a while. It does.

It's like a good sitcom. Lasts so many seasons,

and then you got nothing else to do, no more ideas,

so they head a f***ing alien or an adopted kid, and it's

off the air, and you go: "Thank God it's over."

Cause life gets boring the sh*t.

I'm 37 and I'm already bored.

I've had a weird life.

I've done some crazy sh*t but

I did it too quick and I get no more ideas.

My imagination can't keep up with...

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