Donald Glover Weirdo Page #4

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that everybody's pushing

and kicking around,

and in the center of

the big clear beach ball's

just this one lone baby,

just like, one lone, naked baby,

and he's not crying or anything,

he's just confused and sh*t.

He's like, why did my parents

put me in here?

I'm... I thought they loved me!

And I was like,

yes, that's worth $50.

I wanna see that.

And they canceled it.

They got rid of it.

They were like, it's too weird,

it's gay,

I don't get it, get rid of it.

That hit home for someone.

"It's funny 'cause it's true!"

Well, they got rid of it.

They canceled it,

and that's ridiculous.

That's crazy.

Only adults would do that.

Like, as a kid, we watched the

weirdest stuff and nobody cared.

Nobody...

You guys remember

"Muppet Babies"?

( Cheers and applause )

Let me refresh your memory what

"Muppet Babies" is about.

"Muppet Babies" is a show

about a lady

with no face

who takes care of a frog, a pig,

a dog that plays the piano,

and an alien named Gonzo

that fucks chickens.

And adults were like, "Yeah,

watch it, I don't give a f***.

I got things to do, I gotta go."

No one cared.

You guys remember "Teenage

Mutant Ninja Turtles"?

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"?

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"

sounds like

a homeless person's fever dream.

If you... If you were walking

down the street

and you saw a homeless

person and they were like,

"They're all named after

Renaissance artists

and their father's a big rat,"

you'd be like, "Get the f***

away from me, man!"

I'm kind of obsessed

with homeless people.

I really am.

Because, I don't know, we have

a long history together.

We do, we have

a long history together.

Like, when I first moved here,

when I first moved here

from Atlanta,

like, the only thing

I knew how to do to make money

was to babysit, 'cause my

parents, like,

they ran a day care,

we had a lot of foster kids,

so the only thing I really knew

how to do was take care of kids.

So I had this job, I was

supposed to pick up this kid

and I was running late

and I was leaving a message

on the phone,

and I was like,

you know, talking,

and I wasn't really paying

attention to where I was going.

And a homeless man...

punched me in the face.

And I think he was like,

schizophrenic or something,

'cause he was like,

"Stop following me!"

And I was just like...

Just ran away.

So anyway,

I go and pick up the kid,

I pick him up, bring him

home, make him dinner.

His mom comes home,

she's like, "Hey."

She goes in the back room,

she comes back out and she goes,

"Hey, are you okay?"

And I'm like, "Yeah, I'm fine,

I kind of forgot..."

She's like, "Are you sure?"

And I'm like,

"Yeah, what's wrong?"

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