Donald Glover Weirdo Page #3

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It really is, but you're...

Like for some...

Just like, "Hey,

there's this fat guy

"that comes in your house,

eats all your food,

"and he leaves little gifts

for you and while your parents

are sleeping,

he runs up the chimney."

You're like, "He gives me

gifts... cool."

You're just fine with it.

You're fine with that guy being

in your house.

As an adult, somebody's like,

"Hey man, 'Glee' comes on at

9:
00 instead of 8:00 tonight."

You're like, "F*** you, really?

"Why'd they change it?

Why'd they change it?"

Can't take any change

whatsoever.

But that's basically what it is,

is like, you know, I'm 27,

like, I'm about to

become who I'm gonna be

for the rest of my life.

Like, basically, once you hit

around your 30s,

that's who you're gonna be

for the rest of your life

pretty much.

Like, if you're conservative

and you're around your 30s,

you're probably gonna be

conservative

for the rest of your life.

If you're like, liberal,

and you're like, in your 30s,

you're probably gonna be liberal

for the rest of your life.

You know, if you're a girl

and you don't give blowj*bs,

curl up to your nine cats

and your "Twilight" DVDs,

'cause you're gonna die alone.

You're gonna die alone.

Sorry.

I love that joke because guys

are always like,

"Well put, Mr. Glover."

But it's true,

like you can't take any...

Like, as you get older, you

can't take any weird stuff,

that's just the truth.

Like I know...

That Lady Gaga! Kanye West tour.

I was super stoked about that.

That was gonna be so awesome and

weird, it's gonna be so crazy.

I was having dreams about it,

that's how much I was excited

about it.

I was having dreams about it.

I was like, there's gonna be,

like, two big pillars on stage,

like, one big pillar here, like,

Lady Gaga's there

and her hair's,

like, blowing in the wind

and she's playing the bass,

like this, going...

like a huge bass,

but the bass isn't a bass,

it's just a huge tampon,

she's playing a huge...

She's just plucking at

a huge tampon.

And at the end of it

is Tony Danza's face.

He's just like...

He's just going, like,

crazy on there.

And then, like,

there's another one,

there's like, another

huge pillar,

and then, like, Kanye West

is on it, he's playing a piano,

but the piano's not a piano,

it's just a bear,

it's a live bear.

For some reason, he's playing...

And the bear's not eating Kanye

'cause he has so much respect

for him,

he's just, like, looking at him.

He's just like, "Oh, I want

to eat you,

"but you made 'Graduation!

You motherf***er!"

He's like, mad.

And then, like, in the audience,

there's like,

a big, clear beach ball

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