Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts Page #4

[Duke]:
Yeah, also me though.

[Thomas]:
...what?

[Logan]:
*sigh* Roman is sort of like, Netflix Kids and Family. He's the option that you select if you want to, um-

[Duke]:
Block out all the juicy stuff~

[Virgil]:
Don't say "juicy" in that context.

[Duke]:
Ah. Juicy butthole?

[Thomas]:
LESS okay.

[Patton]:
Yeah, your... b-hole needs to stay zipped up in your pants where it belongs!

[Duke]:
Why do you want to stifle your own creativity, Thomas?

[Thomas]:
I'm sorry that I don't see the creative merit in "juicy butthole".

[Duke]:
Oh come ON, Thomas! There are different kinds of creativity! Just take Jeffrey Dahmer! (stutters) I mean acid-brain sex zombies? That's ri-

[Thomas]:
Gah! Lemme stop you right there! Jeffrey Dahmer was not CREATIVE, he was DESTRUCTIVE, and I'll thank you to never bring him up again.

[Patton]:
That's right! Just shut it down, Thomas!

[Logan]:
You should do no such thing. You cannot force the Duke to retire a topic of conversation.

[Duke]:
Yeah, repression can be... very bad, indeed. I mean, just take Jeffrey Dahmer.

[Thomas]:
*grunts in frustration*

[Duke]:
He used to have these, *chuckles* pretty funny thoughts about torturing animals.

[Patton]:
*gasps in horror*

[Duke]:
But ya know? He hated them. He thought they were horrible, and he tried to FORCE THEM OUT! Lot of good that did him!

[Logan]:
It didn't do him any good.

[Duke]:
Yeah- *stutters* right.

[Logan]:
In fact, that kind of repression doesn't do ANYBODY any good, because it doesn't work. In the 1980s, Virginia psychologist Daniel Wegner performed the White Bear experiments which demonstrated that the more one tries to force out a thought, the more intrusive, and/or repetitive said thought becomes.

[Duke]:
♪ JEFFREY DAHMER! ♪

[Thomas]:
STOP!

[Logan]:
I will... ugh... begrudgingly forgo the scientific method for a quicker, simpler replication of the experiment. Uh, Patton.

[Patton]:
Hmm?

[Logan]:
We will need you to talk about anything you want for the next minute.

[Patton]:
W-... Uhh... Alright, but, uh... hold on to your ears, because I'm about to talk 'em off.

[Duke]:
*ripping sound* Hold on to my ears? Done and done!

[Patton]:
GAah!

[Thomas]:
Ugh, great! Great! Ew!

[Patton]:
You put those back on right now, mister!

[Duke]:
♪ I can't hear you!!! ♪

[Logan]:
I need you to focus.

[Patton]:
Oh, right! Uhhhh... Okay. So, do I just start talking whenever?

[Logan]:
I will cue you. But-Before you begin, don't think about, uhhh...

[Duke]:
A goldfish in a condom!

[Patton]:
Ugh!

[Thomas]:
HO-kaayy.

[Logan]:
That works. Go!

[Patton]:
Uh, once upon a time there was a gold- - en girl...

[Thomas]:
Mmm.

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