Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts Page #3

[Logan]:
Apples don't have pits.

[Duke]:
♪ I am The Duke! And it's high time that I dropped in. And since you haven't puked yet, we'll know they're wrong when they call you sick. ♪

[Patton]:
(retches)

[Duke]:
♪ It's unicorn horns and dragon tails, Roman's dull creativity~. If you want the spectrum A to Z, then you'll need a little help from me~! From unicorn porn to rats impaled, I give these thoughts generously! If you really want to challenge your viewership, then you need to stop limiting me! ♪

[Thomas]:
♪ What in the sh- [plate shatters] have I been drinking!? ♪

[Logan]:
It's fine.

[Patton]:
♪ It isn't you, these thoughts you're thinking! ♪

[Virgil]:
ALRIGHT! ♪ You've got to stop this guy from singing! ♪

[Duke]:
I love how hard you try, it's so cute! Let's resume. Sure... ♪ People don't like me much, Thomas! But that's only just cause I'm honest! Good and bad is all made up nonsense! ♪

[Roman]:
Bro, I'm gonna whip your butt!

[Duke]:
Do you promise? Thomas! Speaking of honesty, recently a snake offered me a morsel from the tree of knowledge. ♪ He said, "You're wanting to be more honest and be direct dealing with your issues? No longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you." ♪ Neat! ♪ You wanna face facts? I've got one. Your late-night thoughts get pretty sick, dude. If you shared those musings with your friends, I doubt they would forgive you. Even though everybody sins, Everybody dies. Why deny yourself knowledge? Say~ knowledge of yourself? You don't need to feel ashamed with your dear ol' Duke! You need not feign decency. You see this house on fire? I see it too! 'Cause you've got a fiend in me! So, clap your feet, and stomp your hands, and dance off your booty cheeks! You can then bet your bottom I'll still be around when all your loved ones leave! Imagine with me: Licking the blowhole of a dolphin. Your best bud trapped inside a coffin. Your grandma choking on a lozenge. Your pet dog stuffed into a sausage. *dog squeals* These sorts of things are only thought in the mind of a man whose soul is truly rotten. So let all your hopes of heaven be forgotten 'cause your head's not in the gutter, pal, it's in hell!~ Hell! Hell!!!~ The kind of mind you'd only find in HELL! ♪

*music stops*

[Patton]:
That... was horrible!

[Thomas]:
And horribly unhelpful! Look, Mr. Duke, I'm really stupid right now. Just... tell me who you are, simply.

[Duke]:
Why I'm your creativity! *squealing trumpet noise*

[Thomas]:
N-nooo. That's... that's Roman.

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