Dating My Mother Page #4

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- Arms high...

- [dogs barking]

And then join your hands...

[barking, growling]

- What's up?

- Sorry!

There you are.

You're writing?

Barely.

I wanted to give

the b*tches some air.

Guess what?

I have a date tonight.

Oh, that's... that's great.

Uh, with the CEO?

Someone else.

That's exciting.

I'm freaking out.

What am I gonna wear?

I feel frumpy.

That's because

you wear loose things.

You gotta keep it tight.

Then he'll see my stomach.

Yeah, whatever.

[sighs]

Here, try this.

I'm so glad you're gay.

You know I don't like that.

- What?

- Stereotypes.

Well, if the heel fits.

I'll let you change.

What?

That was funny.

[TV playing indistinctly]

[sighs]

So?

Holy sh*t, you look

like a MILF.

- Really?

- Uh, like a classy one.

I regret calling you a MILF.

If for some reason I disappear,

his name is Chester Patterson,

and we're meeting at Brenda's,

so you can start

the search there.

Mom, I think if he was going

to murder you,

he'd use, like,

an alias or something.

Oh, my God, you're right.

- Oh, my God.

- You're gonna be fine.

Just go have fun.

Okay. Okay.

This is exciting.

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

[door closes]

[sighs]

Uh, so who you buying weed from

in these parts?

Oh, dude, I don't even know.

This is from a homie at school.

I could hook you up

with someone though.

I mean, like,

he's kind of local.

Oh, no, that's okay.

I got into a really bad habit

of smoking, like, once a day.

Maybe twice.

- Three times, max.

- [chuckles]

- But... this is pretty dank.

- [chuckles]

Oh. It's all right.

Yo, where are your dogs?

I can't believe they're just,

like, cooped up in here all day.

I know. Uh, but I got like...

pretty allergic to them

when I went away.

[Khris]

Oh, dude, that sucks.

Yeah, I feel bad, but...

you know,

they're like rabid now.

[laughing]

Oh, man, I love playing

with dogs when I'm high.

Same.

Oh, yo, dude.

This is retro.

Uh, yeah.

Remember playing Battlefront,

like, all the time

in eight grade?

- It was so fire.

- Yeah.

Fire.

[chuckles]

So, "Star Wars" is what made me

wanna make movies

in the first place actually.

It's so cool that

you're doing that.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I don't know. I mean, hopefully,

one day it will be cool.

I feel like right now

I'm just, like... floundering.

Uh, but you're working

on something?

Yeah, uh, a spec.

It's a script.

Um, but hopefully that

plus the TV job will...

get me into a writer's room.

Yeah, that's sick.

Uh, what's your script about?

Oh, I don't actually like

to, like,

talk about it till I'm done.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

It's fine.

Yeah, it's a gay marriage movie

called "He Said Yes."

It's pretty stupid actually.

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