
Dating My Mother
(0.00 / 0 votes)Mom, wait.
Oh.
[sighs]
Danny, can you get the plate?
Sure.
Hurry, the asparagus is burning.
You're driving, right?
I guess so.
Mom.
[sighs]
You get the tickets.
I'll get the keys.
Want something?
No, I shouldn't.
What if we split?
Hmm?
Mmm.
What is our Netflix password
anyway?
I literally tell you every day.
Literally, huh?
It's a figure of speech, Joan.
The password's "Go To The Gym."
Wake me up at 7:
30.Ugh!
It's so early.
Maybe I should just sleep
in my own bed tonight?
Whatever you want.
[sighs]
No, it's okay.
I'll make do.
You look... cute.
What's that supposed to mean?
What?
You hesitated.
I didn't.
"You look...
cute."
That's what you said.
Okay. Okay.
I still don't know
about the bag.
I don't know. Feel like it kinda
wraps the whole thing together.
I know.
But do you want to be
carrying it the whole day?
That's what I was thinking.
Right.
[alarm chirps]
This looks... like garbage.
[laughs, shushes]
Oh, my God, Danny!
I didn't know you were coming.
Same!
And Joan. Hi!
Aw!
Congratulations, Tanya.
Thank you.
Oh, you're so sweet.
So, can you believe
college is already over?
I mean, life is like
flying by.
I know, right?
- Tell me about it.
- Oh, my God!
Melanie. Hey!
I haven't seen you forever.
[woman]
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, it would be
for a TV show, a news show.
- Mom.
- What?
I don't want you to jinx it.
Right.
[chuckles]
Excuse me.
- Yo, Danny
- Oh, sh*t, Khris.
- I didn't know that you were still around.
- What's good, man?
- How you doing?
- Yeah. Yeah.
Hold on.
Wow, you got some moves.
Seasoned pro.
[chuckles]
How long are you
in town for?
I, uh, I'm just waiting
to hear back
from some jobs and...
[sighs]
Who the f*** really knows, man.
Word, man. Word.
I've been here for about
a month or so.
[Tanya giggling]
And I was like,
"Of course we can volunteer
at the soup kitchen."
- [woman] We'd be glad to help.
- [Tanya] Thank you.
I heard she got, like,
some sick job in fashion.
Like... uh, Bergdorf
or something.
Yeah. But I heard
she's an assistant.
So, do you still smoke
a lot of pot?
[chuckles]
What?
Do you maybe have
some here?
Maybe not now
But you keep on
hanging 'round
Keep on hanging 'round
my door
Maybe
Maybe not now
But you keep on coming back
Keep on coming back
for more
Maybe
Maybe not now
But you keep on
hanging 'round
Keep on hanging 'round
my door
Maybe
Maybe not now
But you keep on coming back
Keep on coming back
for more
Maybe
[retches]
Maybe not now
[grunts]
I cannot believe
you embarrassed me
in front of all my friends.
They're not your friends, Mom.
They're just a bunch of rich
white people from New Jersey.
Oh, and what would you call
yourself then, Danny?
I don't know.
Queer.
I don't like that word.
[sighs]
We're reclaiming it.
What did they teach you
at that school anyway?
Have you ever heard
of intersectionality?
What?
I don't know. I need a bag.
[Joan] So, George asked
me out last night.
Mr. Rosenberg.
Oh.
I said no.
He's just so skeevy.
He asked me if hairdressing
was a job or just a hobby.
Gross.
But it got me thinking.
dating again.
You know,
your mom is quite a catch.
Is this because I puked
on Tanya's begonias?
No, Danny.
I've been feeling like this
for a long time.
Ever since Sidney
and I broke up.
- But you dumped him.
- I know.
He was such a square.
He was the first man I dated
after your dad passed.
I know.
Can I?
I just want someone
who makes me smile,
who makes me laugh.
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"Dating My Mother" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 14 Aug. 2022. <https://www.scripts.com/script/dating_my_mother_6401>.
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