Chris Rock: Bigger & Blacker Page #4

Ain't nobody trying

to give Newt Gingrich some.

l don't give a f***, you ain't never

gonna hear Newt Gingrich go:

''Man, l wish these hoes

would back up off me.

''l wish they would just

back the f*** up off me.''

Let a player play, sh*t!

That's right.

lt's damn near impossible

for a man to turn down sex.

lt's hard for a man to turn down sex.

We can stop chasing it,

and even that requires some rehab.

But it's hard for a man to stop.

lf it chase us, we can't run that fast.

lt's gonna catch us, we're like:

''Sh*t, pulled a hamstring. You got me.''

You can't run that fast.

See, it's easy for women to turn down sex.

lt ain't sh*t for y'all to turn down sex.

lt ain't no thing for y'all to turn down sex.

Y'all like, ''Why can't you turn it down?

l do it all the time.

''Why can't you say no? l say no.''

See, it's easy for y'all. You know why?

'Cause every woman in here,

ever since you were 13...

every guy you met

has been trying to f*** you.

That's right.

Women are offered dick every day.

Every woman in here...

gets offered dick at least three times a week.

Three times a day, sh*t!

That's right,

every time a man's being nice to you...

all he's doing is offering dick.

That's all it is.

''Can l get that for you?

How about some dick?''

''Could l help you with that?

Could l help you to some dick?

''Do you need some dick?''

Nobody offers us sh*t.

We got to fend for ourselves.

We can't believe it when we get an offer.

We're like, ''Damn, this is my lucky day.''

That's right, man.

See, this whole Monica Lewinsky scandal,

a lot of this sh*t is Hillary's fault.

That's right, l said it.

l said it. lt had to be said.

Somebody got to say it.

Everybody's like, ''Hillary's a hero.''

No, she ain't.

Aquaman's a hero.

He can talk to the fishes.

What the f*** can Hillary do?

A lot of this sh*t is Hillary's fault,

'cause, ladies, you know your man.

You know your man

better than he knows himself.

You know what kind of man you got.

You know if you got the crazy,

need-a-blowj*b-all-the-time man.

So sometimes you gotta save your man

from himself.

So you know what happens

if he don't get his medicine.

So Hillary Clinton put us all in danger.

She put the security of the free world

in jeopardy...

and she needs to suffer the consequences

for her actions.

That's right, she's the First Lady.

She's supposed to be the first one

on her knees to suck his dick!

Sh*t!

That's right. Monica Lewinsky

shouldn't have even stood a chance.

Hillary's supposed to already be down there

like, ''Hey, l got it.

''l've got it. l got the dick.

''Tickle his ass, or something.

''Yeah, grab a ball, make yourself useful.''

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