Carry on Behind Page #4

Well, I'm only a simple man, you see.

I don't understand figures. 30 quid a week.

L#30?! You must be insane!

All right, then. All right. L#25, take it or leave it.

- We'll leave it.

- We're taking.

15 quids a week.

Now, look here. The only reason we want

this dilapidated mobile hovel

is for somewhere to do our operations.

Operations?

What kind of operations?

Somewhere to examine our artefacts.

He will be getting them out

and I shall be examining them

and sticking labels on them.

You... you do what you like. Still L#20 a week.

15 is last offer, da?

- 15 for my lovely home?

- Da.

Right. I'm not leaving the bedding.

Which end you sleeping?

You can't be serious. I mean, look at it.

I soon am scrubbing out.

No, it's not just that. We can't share a caravan!

Oh, you're thinking of getting crampet, no?

Certainly not! Where on earth

did you learn that expression?

Crampet. Crampet is... squashet.

It's in the dictionary.

Crampet is... squashet together.

Oh! I see! You mean cramped.

Is what I say. Crampet.

Crampet. Crumped. Crumpet.

Well, you can be cramped here on your own.

If you don't mind, I'm going to the pub.

I'll find a room there.

Maybe you're getting crampet in pub also.

It says "Caravans only".

Don't worry. I'll soon chat him up.

- How do you do, ladies?

- I wonder, could you help us?

- What seems to be the trouble?

- Could we camp here tonight?

I'm very sorry, girls, it's caravans only.

Oh, but you see, my friend's hurt her leg.

Has she? Whereabouts?

Well, it's all over.

I think I must have pulled a muscle.

Oh. Perhaps it needs massaging.

Oh, I'm sure it does,

only... not while I'm on my bike.

(Chuckles) Well, perhaps we could find...

a quiet little spot around here somewhere.

- Oh, I beg your pardon.

- What, to massage it?

No. No, no, no. To put your tent up.

Oh, thanks ever so much.

Not at all. If I can be any help at all,

I shall be only too pleased to put it up for you.

I'm sure we can manage.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Oh...

I've got a Wickham's fancy,

a black gnat,

a March brown

and a ginger quill.

Phwoar! It's warm, isn't it?

GIRL:
Yes.

Phwoar.

Phew.

I could do some good with these two.

I could do some good with them two.

- Cor... Look at that!

- Yes, they are beautiful, aren't they?

We could be all right there.

Oh. Oh, yes, I suppose we could.

Don't you fancy 'em?

Well, it's not that, but...

I can't, Fred.

What do you mean, you can't?

Well, I... I've got a disability.

What sort of disability?

I... I'd rather not tell you.

Oh, Ernest...

You can tell Frederick.

I talk in my sleep.

Is that all? How is this going to stop you having...

Talk in your sleep? Your missus, you mean?

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