Carry on Behind Page #3

...over there, by the hedge.

# We're shifting Grandad's grave

to build a sewer

# We're moving it regardless of expense

# We're shifting his remains

# To lay the council drains

# Protected by the local residents

# Cor, blimey!

How disgusting! Who are they?

Archaeologists.

Archaeologists?

That's what it said on the side of the van.

Well, they all sound drunk to me.

So they're drunken archaeologists.

- Ow!

- Arthur!

I won't have swearing.

- Aaargh!

(Clatter)

(Giggling)

Come on, Ern. Let's see what's about.

I'm just checking my tackle.

WOMAN:
Catch it. Oh!

No need to check mine.

Hello, girls.

That's what I need - a bit of exercise, heh, heh!

Used to be a left back for Merthyr, you know.

Don't worry, love. I'll get it.

(Air hisses)

Hey!

What do you think you're doing?

That belongs to me!

- What are you yelling about?

- My ball's burning!

Don't stand so close to the fire.

- Do you mean the students got here before us?

- Yes. Were you held up?

Yes. Before we're starting,

we're having quick bang together.

- Oh, really?

- She ran into my caravan.

What, for a quick erm?

No, no, it was a collision. She collided with it.

Now it's a complete write-off.

- Hm. That's nasty.

- So we are needing accommodation.

I managed to get the students fixed up

all right. Bit of a squeeze, mind you.

That won't hurt them. What about us?

That is the problem.

Those were the only two vans I had for rent.

It's OK, it's OK. We squeezing in somehow.

We shall do nothing of the sort! Not with that lot.

Oh, is not worrying me.

When I am on expedition to Gobi desert,

I am sharing tent with five men,

two goats and one camel.

Five men, two goats and a camel?!

- Da.

- But weren't you er?

Oh, yes, I was,

but since this time I'm always coming prepared.

- Oh? What have you got?

- I'll show you.

Stink remover.

MYNAH:
Hello, darling.

- Hold your noise.

MYNAH:
Get stuffed!

What did you say?!

- Show us your knickers.

- Mummy has got a surprise coming with you!

- Who's a cheeky boy, then?

- You are.

- Get stuffed!

(Car approaches)

Ollie!

Ollie! Look what Mummy's brought. A pressie!

(Dog whines excitedly)

Yes! Isn't that lovely, darling?

(Whines)

- I do hope he's not annoying you.

- No, he's all right.

That's the lot. Now hop it.

Oh, Barnes, this couple want somewhere

to er... sleep and they'd like to rent your caravan.

Da. We have look.

Oh, you need look no further, madam.

This way, please.

Do you mind er, wiping your feet?

Here we are.

All ready to move into.

Just wants a bit of a sweep. I've got...

All the brooms and things

are in the cupboard here and you'll find...

Who was living here?

I was.

How much rent you asking?

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