Carry on Behind

Synopsis: Professors Vooshka and Crump decide to visit an archaeological site to study the artifacts there. Lo and behold, it's right next to a caravan site where all manner of people are staying. With a randy Major owning the site, a snobbish mother, and the two professors' constant innuendos, the film ends with a sinking caravan site and a striptease performance as a replacement for the cabaret night.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Gerald Thomas
Production: J. Arthur Rank Productions
 
IMDB:
5.4
NOT RATED
Year:
1975
90 min
14 Views

TANNOY:
Getting To The Bottom Of Things

at 8pm tonight.

A film show and lecture on archaeological

digging by Professor Roland Crump,

the distinguished archaeologist.

And so the bone structure tells us something

about the shape

of these prehistoric animals.

So much, then, for the bone

of the greater woolly mammoth.

(Glass shatters)

(Laughter)

Dear, oh, dear. Oh, dear.

So sorry. Now... now, erm...

By studying the dwelling places of

primitive man,

we are able to form a picture

of how he lived.

How he lived. Yes.

And we know from the crude drawings

on the walls of his cave

that he frequently exposed himself...

...er, exposed himself to all manner of dangers

in his search for food and the other...

The other significant feature of his existence

was the presence of iced glaciers in the vicinity,

which undoubtedly caused the piles...

...the piles of debris

to move down

and cover up his dwelling place...

(Snores)

...one of which we will now show you on film.

Are you ready?

Lights.

CRUMP:
Here we show you the excavation

of a typical Stone-Age dwelling.

The lady uncovering the site

is Miss Amelia Fossdyke,

who learnt her skilful techniques

under Professor Schwindhofer of Utrecht.

Notice the typical upland scenery.

Neolithic man always preferred those areas,

as the lower regions

were often foresty and inclined to be swampy.

The two large mounds in the foreground

are of especial interest.

It was these which first drew our attention

to the site.

And now we see the site partially uncovered.

Notice the small indentation in the middle.

The small indentation was probably caused

by a sharpened pole,

which was rammed in to hold up the roof,

the normal method of beginning

a Stone-Age erection.

And now we see Miss Fossdyke

about to uncover

something of enormous interest.

MEN:
Phwoar!

(Squeals)

(Audience chuckles)

Here! That's not Miss Fossdyke.

They've sent the wrong film. Turn it off.

- Turn it off!

- (Cries of protest)

Turn it off immediately, I said. Here!

I will not have this shown

in a lecture that I'm in charge of.

Turn it off! Do you understand?

I will not have this in my lecture hall.

Turn it off immediately.

I won't have this kind of thing.

Oh, look!

No, I forbid it. Turn it off immediately!

(Audience cries in protest)

I will not have it shown...

Thank goodness. This is monstrous.

They sent the wrong film. I do apologise,

but what can I do?

Show it again. Show it again!

Morning, sir. I did enjoy your lecture last night.

I've never been so embarrassed in my life.

I thought it was smashing.

- Morning, Crump.

- I beg your... Oh, good morning, Dean.

- Have you got a moment?

- Is it about the lecture?

That's not what I wanted to talk to you about.

You're off to Templeton?

That's right. One of the most important finds

in the West, according to reports.

- Is that so?

- Yes. It's a field next to a caravan site.

Apparently, they were digging a new cesspool

and found what appears to be

a Roman encampment.

What I want to talk to you about is your assistant.

I don't want an assistant. Never had one before.

What do I want an assistant for?

In the interests of cultural relations...

My relations weren't cultured. My grandmother...

In the interests of cultural relations,

you'll have to take with you Professor Vooshka.

(Brakes screech)

(Clattering)

Good mornings. So sorry.

Well, that's all right. Don't mention it.

- Crump, meet Professor Anna Vooshka.

- How are you doings?

Professor Vooshka is the person

I was telling you about.

What about my caravan?

Never mind. You can hire another one

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