Carry on Behind Page #5

That's what she meant

when she said she'd find out.

Well, that's lovely, that is.

You could've told me before.

You're going to ruin my bloody holiday, you are!

Well, it needn't stop you.

Of course it will.

Everything I do, you tell your missus.

She'll nip round, tell my missus.

Well, we could still go fishing.

I did not come here to go fishing.

I came here to go f...

finding other things to do. (Sighs)

Would you like to borrow my ginger quill?

Sandra,

this stove's not working properly.

Well, we dropped it, didn't we? Let's have a look.

If you fancy them that much,

why don't you go outside and chat 'em up?

What, with you around?

I might not talk in my sleep.

Hmm...

Sorry to bother you...

Oh! Ouch!

- Y-Yes?

- We can't seem to get our stove working.

I wondered whether

- you could look at it for us.

- Yes.

There's nothing missing.

No, I can see that.

Only we're dying for it.

- Pardon?

- A cup of tea.

Oh. Oh, yes, so are we.

Would you like to join us?

Oh, we'd love to, thanks.

Carol!

Would you like to sit down?

- Thanks.

- My pleasure.

- Hello.

- (Clears throat) Hello.

What do we need?

(Very low voice) I will... clear the... table.

Here, watch my flies.

- I beg your pardon!

- Oh.

Here, wait. Maybe you're needing.

- Oops!

- Here, careful. You could do me an injury.

Yes, easily.

So you are not finding room in pub, huh?

I rang all round, but they're full up.

Mm. So you are sleeping in caravan, no?

I suppose we could divide it up, or something.

OK, if you're wishing.

But you are going to help me

clean up caravan, no?

Oh, no, I've got to go

and examine the excavations.

Thank you.

(Whines and pants)

Ooh...

Oh, Mummy... Go in, please.

- (Barks)

- Ooh...

There are some people with an enormous dog

parked outside.

I know.

Really, how inconsiderate.

They're right on top of us.

You can't expect a field to yourself.

All right, Mummy. Don't fuss.

Arthur can move the awning.

I am not moving the awning.

Arthur, don't be awkward.

I am not being awkward.

Oh, for heaven's sake, don't argue over me.

- It's all very well for you to...

- I cannot stand squabbling!

(Dog barks)

Ooh, my God.

Now I've got one of my headaches.

I'll find you an aspirin.

- Get stuffed!

- What did you say to me?

Nothing. It was him.

How dare you speak to Mummy like that!

It was him, I tell you.

Go on. Say it again.

MYNAH:
How do you do?

He won't say it now.

For the very good reason

he didn't say it in the first place.

He may be your husband, Linda, but Arthur

never has been and never will be a gentleman!

I think it might be better if you slept out here.

Don't worry. I wouldn't come in there

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