Bridesmaids Page #4

Don't talk to me

about being by yourself.

I go everywhere

by myself.

Thanks to that

new whore, Barb.

Mom, come on.

No, I don't like to say it.

They've been

married 12 years.

Okay.

But she's still a whore.

I'm sure she greets

him in the evening,

beaver first.

I don't want to

think about that.

I bet she got that car

by giving your dad

something sexually.

'Cause there was

one thing I would

never do,

and I'm sure Barb

is a champion at it.

I don't want to know.

It's called

a "chicken coop."

Of course it is.

You start at the back

and you peck your way

to the front like

you have a beak.

And then you end up

with two eggs

in your mouth.

That's gross.

Well, I'm sure

your dad likes it.

Of course,

he grew up on a farm.

Okay.

You sure you don't

want to move in with me?

Mom, thanks,

but no way.

No way in hell.

Yeah?

No, thanks.

Think about it.

Okay.

You don't need

your own place.

Yeah, I Kind of do.

Okay.

All right,

I'm going to go.

All right.

Holy sh*t.

Ohh. Valet. Perfect.

Sorry.

Needs a wash.

You have to

punch it a few times.

Annie!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God,

Lillian.

I know.

This is your

engagement party.

Isn't that crazy?

It's so beautiful.

I can't believe

Dougie's boss

is a member here.

I know,

and his parents, too.

And Dougie, I guess.

Gosh, and me,

I guess, too, now.

Come on, let's go

say hi to the rest

of the bridal party!

You remember

my cousin Rita?

Rita.

Annie.

I haven't seen you

since you

graduated high school.

She has

three kids now.

- Three boys.

- They're so cute.

They are cute,

but when they

reach that age,

they are disgusting.

They smell,

they are sticky,

they say things

that are horrible,

and there is semen all

over everything, okay?

Disgusting.

I cracked

a blanket in half.

Do you get where

I'm going with that?

I do.

I cracked it

in half.

What?

Annie,

this is Becca,

my friend from work.

We are in

the trenches together.

Hey. it's great

to meet you.

Hey, how are you?

Nice to meet you.

This is my husband,

Kevin.

Hi.

"Husband."

I like to say it.

We are newlyweds.

Wow. Congratulations.

Thank you so much.

We went on

a sweetheart honeymoon.

Oh.

Where did you guys go?

Disney World.

Disney World.

We finish each

ether's sentences.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Is this your husband?

No, no, no, no, no.

I don't know him.

I'm sorry.

Do you want to go

for a walk later?

Oh. I can't.

All right.

I can't. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm not with anybody.

I'm here solo.

Let's start it again.

I'm Becca.

Rewind.

This is my husband.

You don't have a husband.

Sorry.

And this is

Dougie's sister, Megan.

- Hey.

- Hi.

My grandma is not

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