Bad Sugar Page #4

wait a little bit longer?

Rolph, I already made you

wait a month.

You must be ready to pop.

The longer you wait,

the more romantic it is.

That's how romance works.

It's our wedding night.

I don't think I'll ever feel

more romantic than this.

How do you know, until you try?

By tomorrow,

you might feel twice as romantic!

Or half!

I admit, it's a gamble.

But you've got to throw the dice.

Rolph?

Rolph, why aren't you...?

It's all soft and tiny!

Oh, I'm sorry!

It's just... I never realised that

getting married would be so tiring.

I'm going to turn you on, Rolph.

Whether you like it or not!

Oh, I like it!

I love it!

I'm going to do things to you

that'll drive you wild!

But first, I'm going to sort

out my Adobe Flash,

because the updates on this baby

are making me so I can't concentrate

on anything!

Look... Rolph!

Are you a fruit?

What?!

What on hell on earth

are you talking about?!

You need to talk to someone.

Maybe a Christian with a machine

might be able to sort you out.

Yeah, right, OK!

I'll show you how gay I am!

Get on that bed right now,

you hot little b*tch!

And open the drawer

and put on the Matt Damon mask!

Don't you think wanting me

to wear a Matt Damon mask

might just be a little bit gay?

Are you crazy?! Of course not!

I just happen to think that

he's a really talented actor,

and that makes me hard!

Look, honey, I'm no poof, OK?

Maybe if we're having problems

in the bedroom,

it's that you're just not hot enough.

Hello?!

Maybe if you were

just a little bit hotter,

I might not be quite so "gay."

Rolph?

What?!

I just like their abs!

It's fitness tips!

And fitness tips make me hard!

Fitness tips, great abs and

award-winning acting make me hard,

and if you can't handle that,

you can eff off!

So did you have a good wedding night,

lovely Lucy?

Yeah!

Yeah, satisfied, that's me,

one satisfied customer.

Yes, I remember

my wedding night with Greg

before what happened

with his abilities.

I won't go into the gory details,

but let's just say,

I couldn't walk for days.

You seem to be walking all right.

Well...

I'm trying.

Right.

Are you ready for this?

Let's do it!

Father!

Art thou busy? I was wondering

if I could have a word.

Of course, Lucy.

God's ears are always open.

Goodness,

is it hot in here or is it just me?

The temperature is at 21 degrees,

as the Vatican suggests.

I've a question,

but I feel ashamed to ask, Papa,

I feel as if I'm naked before you.

Maybe we should discuss

this another time.

It's regarding the physical side of

a relationship between a man and a

woman,

and whether during those times,

if it's all right when a man is...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes