Ali G Indahouse Page #3

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# Gal flex, time to have sex

# Jump in my Lex, steam a blunt,

pop a vex

# Now you know that my style

is rated XX... #

- Ali, open your eyes.

- Sorry, there was something in them.

Because there's these fleas

going around,

two of them, coming in again

and they're in me eyes!

# Open up dem legs a-wider... #

You've been a very bad boy

and you need to be punished.

- Are you a bad boy?

- Yes, I am.

My skin is so dry.

So for being a bad boy,

I want you to rub oil into me,

paying special attention

to my breasts and my batty crease.

OK, I will do that.

But first, I want you to

take your hat off, you naughty boy.

But me never take me hat off.

You take that off

and I'll take these off.

OK.

Now I'm going to milk you.

- (Julie) 'Ali.'

- Give me one more sec.

- Behave, Alistair.

- J-Lo.

They is closing down the centre.

I is gonna go on hunger strike

until they save it... or until I die.

So just in case I do join Tupac

and Biggie in that ghetto in the sky,

I's come here to bone you

one last time.

Mr Johnson might have something

to say about that.

- Can I watch?

- I got not problem with that.

Ali!

Don't do nothing stupid, all right?

Hear me now.

She ain't really me Julie.

In real life I is going out

with someone much fitter.

But they do that

to make me more accessible.

Which means you girls think I will

knob you, even if you is a minger.

OK, you got ten seconds

till you start.

(Muffled) More! More!

OK, and go.

Mr G, why are you on hunger strike?

(Muffled) In the struggle for...

In the struggle for justice,

I is willing to lay down me life.

Just like

Martin Luther... Vandross did.

Local party chairman Alan Swan

has some names for the by-election.

This is a great honour.

I've always admired...

- The names, Swan.

- Right. Well, er...

There are three really outstanding

candidates that match your criteria.

Top of the list is Andrew Hamilton,

PhD political science,

studied PPE at Oxford,

gained a starred first.

Have you tried these new

chicken dippers?

- They're really good.

- What sauce are you going for?

I think it's barbecue.

(Roars and moans)

I can't take it!

(Ali roars)

Chicken dippers!

- Good, we can go home now.

- Oh, nips.

I'll get the keys, yeah?

Starting again from... now!

# Bring it! What? We right here... #

No.

# We right here,

this is ours and we don't share #

- What has we got here, then?

- I is doing a serious protest.

In that case, we'll leave you to it.

Oh, thanks.

There was just one thing, though.

(All laughing)

#... joint made this year

that'll knock till 2003

# Y'all gonna see

that the hottest n*gger out there

# Was and will be me

# Just like that

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