50 Ways to Leave Your Lover Page #5

I got dumped, too.

Really? That's great.

It's great?

Well, great, like--yeah, great.

I mean, you know--I mean, l--

Max and I don't go back

very far, but "I'll call you"?

I mean, a woman like you--

you could get anyone you want,

and...

You know,

it's none of my business.

Do you want to get a drink?

Yeah, I could use another.

OK, OK. Now, just go out there

and be honest...

because if you're honest...

and you say exactly

what's on your mind...

then she'll never

speak to you again...

and you can get

the hell out of here.

OK. Team.

You were the best nine seconds

of my entire fantasy life...

which is a lot more competitive

than my normal life.

Heh. God, that's funny.

No, that's very, very sick.

No, I mean, that's funny,

because, um...

I fantasized about you, too.

-Heh.

-Ha!

-You did?

-Mm-hmm.

Gosh, what were those like?

Um, they were just, like,

your basic sordid...

wake-up-in-the-middle

of-the-night-sweating...

kind of fantasies.

Hmm. Heh heh.

Oh, sh*t.

Are you OK?

You know, not even close.

Yeah, you know, you seem

a little--I don't know--

manic-depressive or something.

Well, lucky for me,

the airlines don't charge...

for excess personal baggage.

This is the final announcement

for flight 505...

nonstop service to New York.

Damn. Um...that's my flight.

Oh.

OK, well,

call me when you get back.

Sure.

Just walk away and praise God

that you don't have her number.

Wait, Owen!

I almost forgot

to give you my number. Heh.

-Thanks.

-Have a great trip.

Thank you.

Hey, is this flight 505?

Yeah. We just closed the gate.

No, no.

I've got to get out of here.

I have burned all my bridges

in this town.

And even if I wanted to,

I could never go back.

And now, because

your plane was late...

well, I met a woman that

I could fall in love with...

and I'm telling you...

if I don't get

on this plane right now...

I might just call her.

And then what?

I mean,

I could be here for years.

What if the relationship

works out?

Get real. It won't.

How do you know that?

I mean, what if,

by leaving now...

I'm dooming myself

to a lifetime...

of shallow, failed

relationships...

because I'll always be

thinking about her?

Are you getting on the plane?

No, thanks.

Well, better luck next time.

Jesus!

You scared the sh*t out of me.

Sorry. I don't know

what I was thinking...

getting into my own bed

like that.

OK, you can go now.

I'm really sorry. It's just

I thought you were gone...

and you have

a king-size bed, so...

Stephanie, can you please

hand me my underwear?

Get your own.

I don't have anything on.

Well, neither do l.

Look, clear out, a**hole.

She's mine.

OK, Owen,

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