Zombieland Page #3
Out west, we hear it's back east.
Back east, they hear it's out west.
It's all just nonsense.
You know, you're like a penguin
on the North Pole...
is really nice this time of year.
There are no penguins
on the North Pole.
You wanna feel how hard
I can punch?
So, what do you think?
Wait, the last time I laid some pipe?
Last time you went 20 toes,
put Percy in the playpen?
Who's Percy?
Wallpapered the closet,
passed the gravy.
- Went heels to Jesus.
- Oh, made love.
Well, just sex.
Three weeks ago. Yeah.
In the back
- Shut up.
- No, no, I was headed east.
She, west.
And we took shelter
in the back of the truck.
- It was full of undelivered packages.
- What was her name?
Beverly.
Beverly Hills.
You dog.
So, what about you?
Me? I...
Aye, aye, aye.
Oh, my God. It makes you sick.
You know, it makes you sad,
it makes you...
It makes you think if you can go back
to the way things were right now...
...you know, you'd be...
You'd be out in the backyard,
you know, trying to catch fireflies.
And instead this.
- I mean, it makes you...
- Hungry.
Look, whatever you have
waiting for you in Columbus...
...I promise you it ain't prettier than
our friend here enjoying her Manwich.
Tallahassee had a sick sense
of humor when it came to zombies.
Zombies aren't the most lovable
creatures, but he really hated them.
The only thing he was more
obsessed with than killing zombies...
...was finding a Twinkie.
Something about a Twinkie reminded
him of a time not so long ago...
...when things were simple
and not so f***ing psychotic.
It was like if he got a taste
of that comforting childhood treat...
...the world would become innocent,
and everything would return to normal.
What, are you prospecting?
Jesus Christ.
You are a dangerous man.
You're gonna risk our lives
for a Twinkie?
There is a box of Twinkies
in that grocery store.
Not just any box of Twinkies.
The last box of Twinkies that anyone
will enjoy in the whole universe.
Believe it or not,
Twinkies have an expiration date.
Someday very soon, life's little
Twinkie gauge is gonna go empty.
Time to nut up or shut up.
When Tallahassee
goes Hulk on a zombie...
...he sets the standard
for not-to-be-f***ed-with.
No fear, nothing to lose.
What can I say? It's like...
It's like art.
You got a pretty mouth.
Don't swing, don't swing.
Swing.
- Thank you.
- You owe me.
Yeah.
You're incredible.
- I know.
- Yeah.
Twinkie, Twinkie, Twinkie, Twinkie.
Big Hoss.
Come here, big fella.
Just gonna take a little off the top.
Wow, these fellas
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"Zombieland" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 8 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/zombieland_24028>.
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