You Should Meet My Son! Page #3

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Oh I won't believe it

You don't believe it do you Rose?

It's Glamour Magazine.

They know there stuff.

(Screams really loudly)

Where did I go wrong? what did I do?

Mae you didn't do anything.

Maybe I shouldn't have let him join the cub scouts.

You know with all those boys alone in the woods,

Anything can happen.

Oh Mae....

Maybe I shouldn't have let him watch the Wizard of Oz because...

You know.... that scarecrow is very likeable.

Oh that Judy Garland....

Mae that didn't mean why this...

Once upon a time I took him to see the "Nut Cracker" at Christmas.

What was I thinking taking a boy to a ballet

Mae it is not your fault.

Although you did let him watch an awful lot

of Madonna videos as a kid.

No wonder he is gay, Rose I am the worst mother in the world....

You are not a bad mother, you are a great mother and you know it.

Then why?

Why is my only son a homosexual?

How did I fail him?

Oh you didn't fail him...

I'm never going to have grand kids Rose, never.

Brian..... what about him?

Brian is never going to have a wife,

he is never going to have a family....

He is going to be all alone in that great big house.

Oh Mae....

(Mae sobs)

Oh Mae maybe they can help him here.

(Lady shouts off screen to Mae and Rose)

Ladies.... the Reverend will see you know.

Thank you.

(Reverend talking)

Well you have come to the right place.

Here at "gay be gone"

we can knock the gay clean out of them.

With Christ loving mercy of course.

We are just so worried about him.

Do you really think you can fix him?

(Reverend) Let me show you how our program works.

We begin by teaching our new recruits proper

"masculine" behaviour.

(Voices from behind door)

(Teacher) Check out the tits on that chick!

(students drone) Check out the tits on that chick!

(teacher) Woman bring me a beer!

(Students drone) Woman bring me a...

(high pitched voice) Sour apple Martini

(Reverend) and then they practice in a more realistic

heterosexual environment.

(Stripper music coming from behind door)

Shake you money maker.

Bambi take it off...

I am going to f*** her, then go and play some football

then f*** her again!

(Reverend laughs)

(Rose) Oh my?

(Reverend) Impressive huh?

Reverend I don't mean to question your methods,

I don't believe I want my son behaving like that.

Lady do you want a polite little woosy mama's boy.....

Or do you want a macho stud that is

pumping out your grand kids?

I guess so.....

Of course you do.

and to make sure the message sticks,

We give the a short course of "aversion therapy".

Every time Eric here sees a homo erotic image on the screen,

He gets a gentle electric shock,

(Sound of electric shock and man screaming coming from behind door)

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