Whatever It Takes Page #2

Homestyle got the hook up.

- Who says I'm into Ashley Grant? | - Come on.

I saw you checking her out all year. | Just thought I could help you out.

What's the catch?

Why has there got to be a catch?

You haven't said dick to me in four years...

...and now you want to help me out?

You're right. | I don't know you. You don't know me.

The prom's coming up. I'm into Maggie. | You're into Ashley.

She ever mention me?

No.

B*tch!

What makes you think | I have a chance with her?

You don't. But Ashley is my cousin | and I can help you.

- Same goes for me with Maggie. | - I don't know. Why Maggie?

- You could date any girl in school. | - But Maggie's special. I can tell.

What do you say? You be me...

...and I'll be you.

Chris?

I need to talk to you.

- Deal. | - Deal.

Deal.

Do you know what this means?

You're validating our entire species here.

I'm serious! This is like Lyle Lovett | and Julia Roberts!

Quasimodo and the Notre Dame chick! | Tommy Lee and-

- Everybody. | - Yeah.

- Of course, he's gifted. | - Studies show that...

...84 percent of all women polled prefer | technique to physical size.

Don't tell me you can't grasp | the greatness of this!

- You compared me to a hunchback! | - Next to Ashley Grant, you are.

I'd like to hunch her back!

Ashley's going to love this.

No, I can't send her that.

You just did.

She's going to hate me!

- Exactly! | - I sent Maggie poetry from you.

Listen, every guy in schooI wants | to say something nice to Ashley Grant.

Big deal! You got to stand out. | Be different.

But, "Your hair looks butch"?

It'll work.

Ryan, your mom's heading this way.

Cosmo, get your hand off the friggin' dick!

Don't worry, I'll take care of... Hey girls!

Who are your friends?

You know Brian.

That's Ryan.

I think so. You're new, right?

No. I've been around.

Right! I've seen you.

Where you been, C-man?

With Brian.

That's Ryan. That's me.

Do you know about the party?

Ashley Grant's, 9:00. Be there!

Bye, Brian.

Bye, Brian.

Bye, Brian.

Hey, bring someone.

Good hanging with you guys.

Wait up.

Good going, Brian!

I've got to go find Maggie!

Sweet. We've got ourselves an occasion!

The things I do for you.

You realise, we're going to be | the biggest idiots in there.

Over here, thanks, Dad!

No, we won't.

Excuse my tardiness. I had to kill a man.

Cosmo, what the hell are you wearing?

Floyd said to dress up.

- I look good, right? | - Yeah.

Smells like teen spirit. Great!

Is this what you had in mind?

Yes.

Darn! That's what I was going to wear.

Care to dance?

Go ahead.

That's okay.

Why not?

He's got to take a sh*t.

Ashley, I have... I don't know what...

What's he all dressed up for?

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