Wet Hot American Summer Page #5

Oh, get out of town!

I'm not getting out of town, and I'm

serious. And I'd use a little mousse.

Moose, as in...

No, as "mousse" for your hair.

Right! Right!

- Okay. Wait a minute, Beth. Are you...

- What?

Huh? What's up?

You dog! You have

a crush on somebody!

- I do have a crush. I just don't

believe he's interested. - What?

Beth, do not worry. Come with me

and I will mousse you up.

Hey, Andy, can I take out the

motorboat and drive around the lake?

- Sure.

- Wow! Thanks.

Just make sure you fill it up with gas

when you're done, and watch out...

Yeah, whatever.

Man, I'd give anything for two

minutes in the closet with Lindsay.

- What about Katie?

- Who?

Excellent.

Hey. Whatcha writin' on?

My "gurnal."

I write my thoughts in it every day.

Oh, you mean a journal.

Yeah, whatever.

Guess I'm not all smart like you.

Can I see what you're writing?

Only three people are allowed to

look at this... Me, myself and I.

But I want you to share it with me.

Hey!

Let's see. Debbie Waxman?

No. she makes that weird piggy

face when she talks, you know?

Yeah. okay, good. No piggy face.

- Rachel Schwartz.

- No.

- Come on, she's a slut. She'll go.

- I'll pass.

- Yeah, you're not really a slut type.

- Yes, I am.

I love sluts. Sluts rock.

It's just gotta be the right slut.

What about Susie?

Yeah. I could go for Susie.

She and I went out

my first summer here.

- When you were ten?

- Yeah, we were ten,

But we were into

some heavy sh*t.

Did you go all the way?

You bet we went all the way.

We went all the way back too.

We did doggy style, pony style.

Style council. That's a good band.

They're hot now. Human league.

They have some good stuff.

League of nations. That brings in

the whole thing of united nations.

That brings in the whole

category of countries.

Where to start?

Well, the obvious one.

The birthplace of spaghetti and

pasta, all the oily stuff... Italy.

- Now you go.

- Um...

- How about Italy?

- Yeah, good! It's safe.

I kind of paved the way

with that one, but...

What?

- What?

- Hey, guys.

- Hi, Nancy.

- Hi, Katie.

Coop, goat sh*t.

Whoo-hoo! Ow!

Andy! Help me!

- You french great.

- Andy!

- You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Man.

- Andy, help me!

- I can't swim!

- Cut it out, bobby. You're fine.

For chrissake, Andy,

help me, I'm drowning.

No, you can't hear the ocean, but you

can learn a great deal about our world.

- Hi, guys.

- Hey, Beth.

Like the new look. Tres chic.

- Thank you, Henry.

- Please, call me Henry.

Okay, Henry it is.

I see you decided to come

teach the campers, Henry.

Yeah. I'm sorry

I snapped at you before.

I'm a little shy around children.

But it's been great!

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