Wet Hot American Summer Page #4

you need worry about...

Yet.

Andy? Are you

gonna clean that up?

Oh, yeah, I will.

Uh, I just got...

I don't have time now.

Clean it up and come

to my office for the meeting.

I gotta...

Damn!

- Gail, are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm okay.

It's just that

my husband Ron...

You know...

no, he's my ex-husband.

I guess I have

to get used to that.

I have to get used

to saying ex, ex, ex.

He's my ex, ex-husband.

You know, it's just

that I thought, like...

when Jonas and I separated,

I thought everything was lost.

And then I met Ron...

and it just seemed like everything

was gonna work out, you know?

Keep going. We're with you.

I'm a total wreck! I don't even

know where the crayons are.

- I know, I know. Gail, listen to me.

- I'm a loser. What?

- Ron's who he is and you

can't change that. - I know.

Okay?

- Gail, listen to me. Look at me.

- I am.

Gail, look at me.

Gail, look at me.

I want you to say "okay."

- Why?

- I want you to say "okay."

- Okay.

- Okay. Good.

I'd like to take this

opportunity to thank you all...

for making

the last eight weeks,

without rival, the best summer

of my entire life.

Okay, let's get to business.

Coop, the camp goat

took a sh*t in the infirmary.

- I need you to take care of that, please.

- That's impossible!

It is possible, and it happened...

on my shoes.

Abby, bunk 8 wants to watch The China

Syndrome again, so run the betamax.

- Again?

- What can I say? They love it. McKinley.

Four lower campers are stuck in the ropes

course. I meant to tell you yesterday.

Could you get to it now?

And last, but certainly not least,

tonight is the big talent show.

We have a lot of hard work ahead of us.

A few ground rules...

Hey. Hey!

I'm serious here.

I am not joking around.

I am not jok... I am not

Ruth Buzzi standing here.

I am no Ruth Buzzi standing here!

Steve? What you got there?

I have been programmed...

by my galactic master...

not to talk

to earth denizens...

of classifications J.J.

and McKinley-I-zoid.

- Your brother is such a freak.

- I know.

Katie, you're hot, right?

By all accounts, you would be considered

"hot." Is that correct?

Uh, I suppose so.

So if one wanted to be hot and make

a good impression, what would you wear?

You put on a clean pair of pants?

Beth, come on. Pants?

Are you kidding?

Yes. Pants.

Of course I'm kidding.

You didn't get I'm kidding?

Unless you're kidding.

'cause pants, Katie.

Come on, please. Pants.

So would you... slacks? Pants?

I don't know. I think I'd wear

a sexy dress or something.

That? Oh, you're good.

Sexy dress.

Okay. Uh, that's "a."

Um, what else... what else

would one do if one were...

I'd do my hair.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes