Wet Hot American Summer Page #6

I've got them making miniature

black holes with paper clips and soot.

What you do

is so fascinating!

- You really like astrophysics? - I love it!

It's my biggest hobby. I love it.

Really? Okay. Who's your

favorite astrophysicist?

My fav... I totally know this one.

Okay, any...

- What time is it?

- Um...

9:
00, 9:30.

I'm so late. I have to go

meet Jim... Stansel.

- You know Jim? He's that guy.

- Uh-huh.

- So I'll talk to you later. Okay?

- Okay.

Okay. Okay. Later, then.

Andy, have you seen

my swimming buddy?

Um...

if I can't find him,

I'm telling Beth

that you let him drown.

- I was busy. - It's your job to

make sure kids don't drown.

Lindsay, I need like

20 minutes, all right?

Gotta talk to this kid.

Andy, where are we going?

To a big, secret pizza party.

Wow! Cool. I love pizza.

Yeah, well...

Nancy! Hello.

If I was looking for a book on

astrophysics, where would I find one?

Off the top of my head,

I'd have to say a bookstore.

- Or a library.

- Right.

Just curious. Keep up the good work.

Okay.

Excuse me. Uh, Nancy.

Say I wanted to get a book on, um...

What?

- Camp directing, I guess. Would that be...

- Henry.

Henry! Library.

Ooh. Thank you!

Beth! Beth!

If you're going into town, can you pick

me up something at the drugstore?

Beth, come on. My husband's coming

today and I need some lube.

For my p*ssy.

Oh, cool!

Beth's going into town.

Let's go! Wait, wait!

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

Come on, Coop!

Come on!

Whoo!

Whoo!

# Got a feeling tonight #

# Though her daddy's makin' trouble

it'll be all right #

# I'm working hard

I don't know why #

# I'm like a working-class dog

and I just get by #

# Tonight I'm going out

for a minute #

# You know we're living

on the brink #

# Second by second

by minute by minute #

# Love is all right tonight #

# Love is all right #

# Love is all right #

# Tonight #

Come on.

# All right #

# It's gonna be all right #

# It's gonna be all right #

# It's gonna be all right #

# Love is all right tonight #

# Baby, we're gonna be

all right #

Hey, guys,

how was Waterville?

- It was really fun. - It's always fun

to get away from camp,

even for an hour.

Katie!

I'll see you later maybe?

Definitely.

Guys, wait up!

How far away

is this goddamn river?

It's at least two hours, Vic.

Try to forget about Abby.

I can't, Neil, okay?

This is my only chance.

What are you talking about?

I'm gonna tell you something, but I

swear to God, if you tell anybody...

- I swear to God!

- What? Wha...

- I'm a virgin.

- Wha...

You're joking.

Right, dude?

You're the stallion. You've had

like 50 or 60 women, so I mean...

Actually, it's closer to... zero.

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