Welcome to Me Page #4

You want to come in tomorrow,

we'll sit down,

we have an official meeting,

and we can hear all about this show

of yours. I'm sure it's a knockout.

- Okay, yeah.

- Does that sound good?

- Yeah.

- Great.

It's a mindset, right?

Okay. I'll see you tomorrow.

Anything she wants.

Anything.

Okay.

You realize that's where we are, right?

It's that bad?

We run a company together.

Jesus Christ, where the hell are you?

- Wait. I thought we were doing okay.

- We were doing okay in the '90s.

Not so much now. We're going to have

to start laying people off again.

No, no.

So, they thought I had this virus

that only cats get,

but it turned out to just be IBS.

So I couldn't have any orgasms.

I was in the hospital for three weeks.

But I feel so much better now.

That is so great, Alice.

- Should I just bring it in?

- Sure.

Great. Pastrami's mine.

Why don't we get to your idea?

I want a talk show with me as the host.

Okay. Well, it wouldn't... be our

first foray into vanity programming.

That's true. Last year

we did that hobby show.

I think Alice wants

to take over for Oprah.

- Good deal.

- That's crazy.

So, you want to talk

about current events?

No.

A show with guests and do interviews?

No.

What kind of stuff

do you want to talk about?

Me.

I'm still not getting

what the show is going to be.

Let me, Deb.

Alice directing, shooting, editing,

sets, costume design,

- hair and makeup.

- Yeah. I want all that.

All these things add up to making,

creating your own show extremely expensive.

Yeah, particularly when you're not

offsetting those costs

with income from selling products.

- Are we talking about a half hour or...

- Two hours.

- How much would that cost?

- Two hours?

You're looking at $100,000 an episode.

I'd say more like 150.

And that times a hundred would be...

That's $15 million.

$15 million.

My business stuff.

Oh, and I want to come in

on a swan boat.

$15 million.

Guys, we're doing this.

$15 million.

- Yes. Come on, it'll be fun.

- Like a nervous breakdown is fun?

Dawn, everyone...

we do this show or we start

laying people off again.

Have you thought about how this

is going to affect the other brands?

Well, Live Alchemy hasn't turned

a profit in two and a half years.

Same with Viva Ceramica, San Tropez,

Neo Regenerative. Neo Regenerative

has never turned a profit.

- Neo Regenetif. It's French.

- Is that how you say it? Shut up.

Here's the deal. We are dead

in the water without this woman.

The almonds.

Leave the almonds on the floor.

I can clean them up after the session.

Would it make you feel better

if you were eating, too?

This eating is not working for me.

The food is distracting from the work.

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