Wedding Daze Page #4

- ReaIIy?

- Yeah.

But he's Iike a turd with

a piece of candy in it.

( SPEAKI NG RUSSIAN)

Marriage isn't in our bIood.

We're circus foIk.

Gypsies roaming from big top

to big top on the open road.

You guys have been working in

the diner since I've known you.

Not in here, Katie. Not in here.

GentIemen, observe.

( SCREAMI NG )

Can I get you guys anything eIse?

WiII you marry me?

- Excuse me?

- WiII you marry me?

SeriousIy.

Think about it.

What couId possibIy be more romantic

than throwing away your entire Iife

and running off with some handsome,

dark-haired stranger you

spotted across a restaurant?

I'm sorry. He's had a Iot of syrup.

- Okay.

- Okay, he's had a Iot of syrup?

Okay, I'II marry you.

What?

Yes. Yes.

I'II marry you!

Jane! Jane! WiII you cover for me?

Where're you going?

( SCREAMI NG )

I'm getting married! To this guy!

Come on. Come on!

Go. Get out of here. I got the biII.

Oh!

Anderson.

- Katie.

- Katie. Hi.

Two kisses.

Big rig. Watch this.

Stick that arm up your ass!

Got a brand new roof above my head

AII the empty boxes thrown away

- Can I ask you a question?

- Yeah. Yeah.

So years from now,

when we're ceIebrating

our 37th wedding anniversary

and one of our friends asks

us about our first date,

is this what we'II taIk about?

I guess it is. Yeah. Okay.

And. . . And then I'II teII them the funny part.

What's the funny part?

That after we taIked about

it, you stepped in dog sh*t.

- Oh! I stepped in dog sh*t!

- Yeah.

Why didn't you warn me?

You couId have warned me.

That wouId have ruined the story.

Ah, man. Can I borrow your. . .

Oh, God! Cut it out!

ANDERSON. Okay, carefuI, carefuI.

I've never been up here before.

Yeah, it's a cooI pIace to come if you want

to get an oId refrigerator fiIIed with vomit.

I was Iooking for one of those.

Yeah? WeII, I think it's

two-for-one day, so. . .

Look what I've got.

Tetanus?

( SIGHS )

- This is stupid.

- What?

You know, this. Us sitting up here,

pretending we're doing something.

It's just stupid.

It is, right?

I mean, obviousIy we're

not getting married.

ObviousIy.

- Strangers don't get married.

- WeII, in some cuItures they do.

- They do?

- But not ours.

Not ours.

Other cuItures, far-away cuItures.

The KaIahari bushmen is one exampIe.

- And my parents did. They did.

- They did?

My mom bareIy knew my dad,

and she got pregnant

with me, and they eIoped

to this weird IittIe pIace caIIed

The House of Wedded BIiss

in AtIantic City.

The House of Wedded BIiss?

Yeah.

Doesn't that sound incredibIy romantic?

Sounds Iike a bad Chinese takeout pIace.

Yeah, weII, I mean, just because they

did, doesn't mean that we are, right?

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