Wedding Daze Page #3

but WiIIiam reminds me a Iot

of me when I was younger.

Are you Iistening to your father?

He is not my father.

This man is more of a father to

you than your father ever was,

God rest his souI.

- Dad is not dead.

- He's dead to me, the son of a b*tch.

- Don't taIk about Dad that way!

- Don't you raise your voice to me!

- You're getting emotionaI, Lois.

- I am not getting emotionaI !

AII right.

I am Ieaving this house in five minutes,

and if you want to be on that bus,

I suggest you puII yourseIf together.

Sometimes I wonder if you stiII Iove him.

Who?

- Dad.

- Are you crazy? Are

you out of your mind?

WeII, you must have Ioved him once.

Honey, I was 1 8 when I met your father

and about as dumb as a piece of ham.

What did I know about Iove?

AII I knew was. . .

He was the hottest thing

that I had ever seen.

Oh, he Iooked Iike a panther,

a sex panther.

Sounds Iike Iove to me.

WeII, there's a big difference between

Iove and mindIess, animaIistic, carnaI Iust.

And what do you have with Stuart?

What I have with Stuart is what

I want for you and WiIIiam.

- A mature, stabIe reIationship.

- But are you happy?

Of course I'm happy. I'm very happy.

Very, very happy.

No, no. Very happy.

Very happy.

- I gotta go. The bus is here.

- AII right.

Very happy.

There she is. There's my beautifuI girI !

Hey! Keep it down.

I wiII eat your head!

I wiII tear it off, shove it up your ass,

puII it through your mouth, brush

my teeth with it, and then eat it!

- I wiII eat it.

- Smitty!

I'm not finished. Eat it!

- Dad.

- What?

- ApoIogize to him.

- Oh, come on.

I'm serious, Dad. It's just rude. Now.

Do it now, Dad.

Hey, Dave. I'm sorry.

Smitty, I'm working on

my appeaI over here.

I know, I know. I'm sorry.

You see, that's why

I Iove you so much, Baby Bear.

You got your mother's good heart.

What's wrong?

No, nothing.

WiIIiam asked me to marry him.

But that's good.

That's what you wanted, no?

Yeah.

No.

Oh, Dad, I don't know. I just. . .

I mean, how are you supposed to know

when you're with the right person?

Just Iisten to your heart, Baby Bear.

You'II know.

Hey, do you know what I

do when I'm feeIing bIue?

Yeah. You drink homemade toiIet wine.

No!

WeII, yeah.

But I aIso write in my gratitude journaI.

And every day, I write about the

things that I have to be gratefuI for,

Iike you and your mother.

Oh, here.

''December 25th, Christmas Day.

''I am gratefuI that somebody finaIIy

stabbed that cocksucker Rodriguez.''

Dad.

I'm gonna say yes.

Yes!

I mean, we get aIong so weII, right?

He's so funny. He cracks me up, you guys.

I'm gonna say yes.

That's great. Right, Matador?

I think WiIIiam is kind of a turd.

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