Tusk Page #5

You were lost at sea?

Yes.

Who are you, Rudyard f***ing Kipling?

In 1959,

I was back on a boat.

Around the Gulf of Anadyr

which is the southern coast of Siberia.

In Chukchi Peninsula.

Perhaps, the best years of my life.

My culinary capabilities

in small, sea-faring vessels

earned me my passport to the world.

As a matter of fact,

it was my magic with a halibut

that landed me the chef's position

on the Anastasia

as we traversed into

Soviet waters exploring.

Wait. So this is like... What

is this, like, Cold War stuff?

No, no, no.

We were in search of

the Siberian Great White.

The Great White Shark?

No way.

Yes. And the Russians

called the hungry god

"The Whale Eater. "

Oh!

It's reported to be 25 feet in length,

with some 3 tons on him.

What?

Holy sh*t! Did you find him?

No, no. No, no. We only found...

Death off the Chukchi Peninsula.

In the inky heart of night,

the Anastasia collided with an iceberg.

I watched a ship disappear in minutes

into the black Russian sea.

Then I heard the screams

of the crew silenced

in the Siberian brine.

So what happened after the boat sank?

I was alone.

"Alone, alone, all alone,

on a white wide sea!

"And never a saint took

pity on my soul in agony. "

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.

Well remembered, Mr. Bryton.

- Hmm.

- Well remembered.

But you know, when

the screaming stopped,

I thought I was alone until something

very swift and frightening moved by me.

"The many men, so beautiful!

"And they all dead did lie

"And a thousand, thousand

slimy things lived on

"And so did I."

God! How scared were you?

Oh!

I don't mind admitting I was terrified.

I know you've probably been scared

a few times in your life, Mr. Bryton.

But I'd wager to say you've

never known true terror.

I became intimately familiar

with terror that night, as I swam.

I kicked at the water and stroked for

I know not where. It was so pitch black.

So I swam deeper and

deeper into the ebony void

and I prayed that whatever brushed by me

was now feasting upon the

expedition crew instead.

Sweet whistling Christ!

I awoke on the shores

of a very small island,

regurgitating sea water,

and discombobulated beyond belief.

And then as I stood to my feet,

I saw the sweetest sight

my orbs have ever taken in.

I saw my savior.

I saw a walrus.

A walrus?

A walrus saved your life?

- Yes.

- - What?

This curious fellow loomed over me,

with tusks as tall as

Scylla and Charibdys.

But it was...

It was as gentle as a milking cow

and it took me into its

blubbery body to keep me warm,

as if I were a newborn chick, you see.

Unbelievable!

Yes.

And though I couldn't

know what he was called

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