Tripping The Rift: The Movie Page #4

from the entire

kingdom's power grid

to the cables

you are holding...

that is, if I can

reach the switch.

You've got to try.

Okay.

Did you say something?

Could you at least wait

until I let go of the cables?

My apologies.

Okay, now.

Bring us down!

Love the hair.

It's sort of Liza meets Lily Munster.

Great job, everybody.

My God!

Look at this place!

Don't tell me I'm playing

dinner theater in the Poconos.

No, this is Slovinia.

Slovinia?

I've opened out of town

before, but this is ridiculous.

You were dead, and we

brought you back to life.

Okay, now you're starting

to sound like my agent.

I am so parched.

Who does a queen have to do

to get a drink around here?

Your Royal Highness,

welcome back.

Royal Highness?

Let me explain, lady.

Mister...

whatever the hell team

you're playing for.

Look, in this show, you play a

princess who gets crowned queen

and lives happily ever after.

Unless, of course, they

declare you a total weirdo

and the fickle public

turns their back on you.

You mean like Tom Cruise?

There's an angry mob led by the

prime minister surrounding the castle.

It sounds like he's whipping

them up into a frenzy.

Not the face. Not the face!

They have killed the princess.

Sliced her up like a turkey

on Thanksgiving morning.

I say we lynch them first and

ask intelligent questions later!

I haven't seen critics

this out for blood

since Puff Daddy did

Raisin in the Sun.

You're going to have to go

down there and face the people!

Let me know how

that turns out.

Chode, we don't

have any choice.

We've gotta escort

the princess out there

and see if her subjects

will accept her...

him.

I gotta take a wicked leak.

Where's the men's room?

Is anyone really stupid enough to

buy that big lug is the princess?

Is that Princess

Babe-hot or what?

Show's on.

All hail the royal princess!

Smile at the people.

Watch where you're putting

that thing, you buggy-eyed ass!

Wait a minute.

Why is your voice so deep?

Friday night's

my poker night.

Too much booze and cigarettes.

Well, that satisfied

my curiosity.

I'm not buying it!

If you're the princess, sing

the princess' favorite song.

Sorry, just warming

up my instrument.

Hit it, Frau!

I love Slovinia

In the summer

when it sizzles

I love Slovinia

in the spring

When the frigging

flowers bloom!

I love Slovinia

in the winter

When it's snowing

and snowing and snowing

You've got to admit, it snows

like a motherfuck around here!

But when you see

Slovinia in the fall

That's when I love Slovinia

When she loves Slovinia

That's when I love Slovinia

That's when

she loves Slovinia

That's when I love Slovinia

Most of al.

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