Top Gear: The Perfect Road Trip 2 Page #5

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Right. Gone.

Yeah. Sleep well.

Hope you don't die or anything.

(CHUCKLES)

I'll be fine. I'll find somewhere good.

CLARKSON:
Don't trip up. It's much more

tricky going down than it is going up.

HAMMOND:
Well, at least

I'll get to sleep in hospital.

CLARKSON:
The next morning,

inspired by the incredible views

from my hotel's only bedroom window,

I had an idea.

An idea I was keen to share

with my rather grumpy colleague.

What?

Well, the thing is, okay,

50 miles from here,

not even that, there's a racetrack.

What racetrack?

Can't remember what it's called,

but there's a big red helmet

- at the entrance.

- Let me guess.

Is there only room for one car

on the racetrack?

- No.

- And you're on it first.

No, honestly...

I think we should go there.

No, we should.

- It's a proper racetrack.

- Yes, it is.

- It is.

- All right.

Just have to look for a red helmet.

And so the search began.

(SPEAKING BROKEN ITALIAN)

You don't know. Okay.

(SPEAKING BROKEN ITALIAN)

Grazie.

They don't seem to know, Hammond.

Well, what are you asking?

(SPEAKING BROKEN ITALIAN)

Um, does that mean you're asking them

where their red helmet is?

Oh, yeah.

That might be a bit rude actually.

Eventually, after fine-tuning

our Italian, we found it.

Think you will agree, Hammond,

that is a red helmet.

HAMMOND:
It's a very big

red helmet, yes.

CLARKSON:
This is Mugello.

It's not the fastest racetrack

in the world,

or the most technical,

but it's sure as hell

the prettiest.

And these are the cars

we'd be driving round it.

I had gone for the new BMW M4.

And Hammond had chosen the V8

Jaguar F-Type Coup R.

A car he doesn't like very much.

(ENGINE REVVING)

Why don't you like it?

Well, I don't think it's as pretty

as everyone says it is.

- It is.

- I don't think it is.

And I don't like the noises it makes.

All those crackles and bangs.

They're artificial.

They're there because a man with

a laptop told it to sound like that.

The V6 isn't as bad,

but this V8, it's...

(STAMMERING) It's false.

So... Okay, you had a choice.

You could have any car you like here.

Why have you brought something

you don't like?

You shall see.

CLARKSON:
And with that, he was gone.

Listen to that.

Sounds like it's got indigestion.

And then when you lift off...

(CRACKLING)

Most people hear a car

making noises like that,

they'll think it's broken.

Don't like the interior,

I think the dials are boring.

Putting the light control

on the end of the indicator stalk,

fine in a Nissan Micra,

but in a 95,000 sports car,

it suggests they're too lazy or too mean

to develop a separate switch for it.

And I think it's too expensive.

Best part of 95,000

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