Top Gear: The Perfect Road Trip 2 Page #4

---

It's got one really good room, okay?

Right...

Whoever gets there first

can have the room.

- So a race there?

- Yeah.

- First one there gets that room.

- Yeah. Exactly.

- All right. Yeah, I'm up for that.

- You're up for that?

I'lljust finish this

and we'll get going.

- Spaghetti Bolognese.

- Rag, mmm.

Three, two, one. Go!

Satnav is the answer here.

So, let's put it in.

Here we go.

Don't know where he's going.

What Hammond doesn't realise, of course,

is that in old cities like this,

even Audi satellite navigation

is useless.

Local knowledge, that's what you need

and I know it is right here.

I love the way the satnav is integrated

into the main instrument binnacle

rather than a separate ugly screen.

Okay.

Uh... Uh...

Sort of... I think it's that way.

(HONKING)

CLARKSON:
Whilst Hammond was annoying

local delivery drivers,

I was making progress

the old-fashioned way.

Good, so right on Nosadella,

past that big statue...

Yes, I know where I am now.

I know more than satellite navigation.

Well, everybody knows more than

McLaren satellite navigation

because it knows

literally nothing at all.

It tells you where you've been.

It tells you where it thinks

you ought to be.

But it never tells you where you are

or where you're going.

There's no left here. Straight on.

No, it was right. It was right.

I should have done the right there.

In cities, most super cars,

in fact all super cars,

feel enormous and ungainly.

They really do feel like you've gone

into a china shop with a bull.

This, though, it doesn't.

It shrinks around you, it feels tiny.

And speaking of Hammond...

God!

I need to be able to select

width of street.

It's really hard to judge this car.

Squeeze it down here. Easy-peasy.

Cyclist! I had no idea he was there.

He's in my blind spot.

Which is massive.

Ooh, three here...

Now left...

This is it.

Oh, God!

Well, I didn't want the posh room

anyway. Any room will do me.

I'm not that fussed. Just a room.

(FOOTSTEPS)

(PANTING)

Oop. I hear the sound

of an approaching Hammond.

I think he's still nine

storeys away, though,

so we have plenty of time

to finish my book.

Ooh, he's getting louder.

Ah, you're here.

Why is the winner gonna be very pleased?

Well, this hotel only has one room,

and, as you can see,

I've got it.

One room? It's not

really a hotel then, is it?

It is. It's a one-room hotel.

So, what do you say?

I've got to either sleep with you...

Which isn't gonna happen.

- No, it's not.

- 'Cause I sleep like that.

Don't wanna know.

Or go all the way back down with my

suitcases and find somewhere else.

That's exactly it.

You lose, back you go.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes