Tommy Boy Page #3

Brother? I'm gonna have a brother?

I've always dreamed about having a brother.

Speak of the devil.

A brother!

- Brother?

- I'm Paul, you must be Tommy.

Brothers don't shake hands.

Brothers gotta hug.

I can't believe i have a whole

new family. This is awesome!

Yeah. Great.

No offense, but if i showed a picture of

your mom to some of my buddies at school

she'd definitely be

boner of the month.

I'm honoured.

So is there anything to

do in this town besides eat?

Tons of stuff.

Late night pitch and putt.

We go to the livestock auction

and cruise the 4-H babes.

Throw stuff off the bridge.

What do you feel like doing?

I don't know. Something

a little more dangerous.

Sure. All you can handle bro.

Look at 'em there!

Pretty maids all in a row.

I want the one on the left.

She's perfect. Which one d'you want?

- Does it make a difference?

- Oh, yeah.

- Wait a second. Is this your first time?

- Yeah, Tommy, it is.

You're gonna remember this

the rest of your life.

Can't believe you've

never been cow tipping before.

Get ready to live!

She's sleeping. What you do is put

your shoulder into her and you push.

- And?

- They fall over.

And this doesn't strike

you as kinda' dumb?

We're family. We're gonna be doing

lots of dumb stuff together.

Wait 'til Christmas.

You keep your feet

shoulder-width apart.

Stay between the udder

and the hock, it's a...

Ready! Hut!

Holy Shnikees!

Hey, get off my property!

Run for it!

- I'll save you brother!

- I'm ok. Get away from me!

Get up!

- Come on!

- I love you.

Hey, get me! My turn!

Over here!

These shoes are Italian.

They're worth more than your life.

Man! Did i get dooshed with mud!

Hey Chucko, that

doesn't smell like mud.

Oh, man, that's cold!

I'm a maniac. Maniac...

...on the floor. And i'm dancing

like i never danced before.

Did you eat a lot

of paint chips when you were a kid?

Why?

- Mornin', Richard.

- Hi.

Luke, I am your father.

I've interrupted "happy

time". Look, your father wants

you to check out the

delay problems we're having

at the loading dock. Now, i know you'd

love to just sit there and keep being...

not slim, but we gotta

work a little today, okay.

- That was from Star Wars".

- I know.

R.T. I think i figured out the problem.

This order's going to Columbus.

That's a one day delivery,

but you've got it

marked down for two.

That's because it's going to Columbus,

Georgia, not Columbus, Ohio.

You see these letters by the city?

That's called a state.

- What else you got, Wonder Boy?

- That's pretty much it for now.

Tommy, maybe you should go back

to college for another 7 years

and study a globe.

Tommy Callahan?

Michelle Brock. Chaparrall High.

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