Tis the Season Page #3

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Kris:
Hey, where do you think you're going pal? Huh?

(Kris makes sickly sound.)

Jeff:
Bro. You alright? You don't look so hot.

Kris:
I'm fine.

Kris:
I'm Santa Clause damn it!

(Sickly sounds)

Kelly:
Kris!

Kris:
Grunting

Pengrove:
Boss!

Pengrove:
Boss!

Kris:
What?What?

Pengrove:
Get up.

Kris:
What happened?

Kelly:
Well, you acted like an ass and then you passed out.

Jeff:
Yeah we thought you kicked the bucket bro.

(Jeff Laughs)

Nick:
Alright he's alive.

Nick:
Let's go.

(Squeaky floor)

Rachel:
If you don't mind me asking, what's your diet consist of?

Kris:
Umm... milk and cookies.

Kris:
Christmas ham.

Kris:
I'm on the go a lot. So I have to eat on the go.

Rachel:
I'm only pre-med so you should talk to a doctor but...

Rachel:
I think you have diabetes.

(Jeff laughing hysterically)

Jeff:
Perfect.

(Video game lazers)

(More video game lazers)

Kris:
I lost the list.

Kris:
My family hates me.

Kris:
And I'm probably gonna die.

Kris:
Other than that, I'm fine.

Kris:
Other than that, I;m just...

Kris:
Great.

Pengrove:
(High pitched) Hey boss.

Pengrove:
I've got some good news for you.

Pengrove:
You're going to bring present to all the children in the world and make them so happy.

Pengrove:
Christmas is going to be the best-

Kris:
No!

Kris:
Pengrove!

Kris:
No nut cracker!

Kris:
The List!

Kris:
Where's the list Pengrove.

Pengrove:
I've searched the whole house boss.

Pengrove:
I can't find it.

Pengrove:
There's no list.

Pengrove:
You know boss...

Pengrove:
I think the people of the world can take care of themselves.

Kris:
No.

Pengrove:
But you still need to take care of your family.

(Pengrove picks up bells)

(Ringing bells)

Kris:
Alright everyone.

Kris:
Come on in here.

Kris:
Gather around.

Kris:
I got something I wanna say.

Kris:
You too Jeff, wake up.

Jeff:
Hard eight, eight the hard way.

Kris:
Alright, I know you all hate my guts right now.

Kris:
Okay, I just wanted to apologize for the way I was acting last night at dinner.

Kris:
It's just that Christmas isn't what it used to be. And I'm having a hard time dealing with that.

Kris:
I mean people have written songs about me.

Kris:
Parents would take their kids to the mall to sit on a complete strangers lap...

Kris:
dressed up like me, so they could tell them what they would want for Christmas.

(Kris sigh)

Kris:
I just, I just really miss that.

Kelly:
Well you were acting like a jerk last night.

Kelly:
I understand that the last few years have been really hard for you.

Kelly:
I mean...

Kelly:
We have so much to be grateful for.

Kelly:
Everything you've done for us...

Kelly:
And you deserve to be happy too.

Kelly:
So we forgive you.

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