The Trip to Italy Page #3

it's a nice car.

And to drive it in Italy...

Yeah?

- What?

- You see what I'm getting at.

- Yeah, The Italian Job.

- Exactly, yeah.

- I was wondering

whether you'd actually

booked the mini in Italy...

Well...

The Italian Job,

just to give you

the opportunity to say...

"You're only supposed to

blow the bloody doors off!"

But I've done it now,

so hopefully

that'll be an end to it.

Do your Michael Caine.

Did you see him

in The Dark Knight Rises?

And his voice

gets even more emotional

than it's ever done in the past

before.

I don't want to bury you,

Batman.

I will not put you

into the ground in a little box.

I will not do it, Master Bruce.

I will not do it.

- I'm not

gonna bury another Batman.

Another Batman?

How many Batmans

has he been burying?

How many are there?

I've buried 14 Batmen so far.

I've buried 14 Batmen.

- Their little pointy ears

into the box.

- I'm not gonna bury another

nylon cloak with pointy ears

that people wear

at birthday parties.

- With the little belt-

the very wide belt

that is flattering

to a man with an expanded girth.

I won't do that to you,

Master Bruce.

I will not do it to you.

- And I won't make the voice

like that.

- The voice

goes even more like that.

He's basically yodeling.

Yodel-ay-he-hoo!

And then Christian Bale says...

"You wanted to see me. "

And when he says that like this,

he puts his tongue up in front.

"I don't want to be a madman.

I don't want to be

a normal guy. "

You sound deaf.

It's so nobody

can recognize him.

I can't understand

a word you're saying,

Master Bruce.

Talk to me as Master Bruce,

not as Batman.

Why-why does he-

So he can have

the cloak of anonymity.

- But he doesn't sound-

you said,

"Here's that bloke in the cloak

with the-

who sounds

like he's deaf again,"

that is not anonymous, is it?

I'm deaf hero.

- No wonder when Batman arrives

and starts speaking like that,

everyone starts

looking at their shoes.

'Cause they're all thinking,

"Oh, God,

why does he talk like that?

Poor fella. "

You know?

- And what about Tom Hardy

as Bane?

Did you catch a single word?

They're, like, competing

to see who's the most-

the least understandable.

- Bane, you're never

gonna beat me.

You'll never beat me.

Wind.

Take off your mask, love.

I can't catch a word

you're saying.

Oh!

I was saying-

- He's a wonderful actor.

Don't get me wrong.

No, he's very good.

- Tom Hardy's

very, very muscular,

so he's a terrific actor.

No, he's a bit-he's good.

He's scary good, scarily good.

- But...

I don't-I don't-

I don't-do you know

what I think that is?

I think that they both

are very formidable actors...

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