The Standoff Page #3

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of Le mans in 22 hours!

No one's more qualified to win

this competition than me.

Here's contestant number four.

Hi.

I'm Lala Zzyzx.

You know, how in every teen movie

there's that awkward shy girl

who just needs

a transforming makeover

so that she can win the affections

of a good-looking, popular boy?

Well, that's not me.

My hair may not be as shiny

as yours or my teeth as white

or my clothes as literally cool.

You may not invite me to your

parties or even know that I exist.

But guess what?

I don't care.

Because I'm smarter than you.

I'm captain of the science team.

We're three-time

state champs.

Oh, you don't think that's cool?

It's not.

It's freezing,

as in the formula for

freezing-point depression,

but you probably don't know that

because you've been too busy playing

that dumb app with the mad birds,

an app that I invented, by

the way, when I was nine!

So you may ignore me

and my friends now,

but one day when we're

tech billionaires,

you'll be fetching us coffee

and picking up our hoodies

from the dry cleaners.

Winning a car at big Jim's?

I don't need to be

better-looking, or stronger,

or tougher, or more

popular than you to win.

I just need to be me.

Here's contestant number five.

Whoo! Colby Mann, defensive end,

r-r-Roosevelt high!

My game plan to win

this car is simple.

I'll use my superior

athletic conditioning

to send each and every

one of my opponents

at home on a stretcher

in absolute tears.

Until I remain

the last one standing

and I take home

the championship.

Whoo!

Go Spartans!

Dude!

I wasn't ready!

Can we do that again?

Here's contestant number six.

I think everyone

should give back.

It's really our

duty as Americans.

Personally, I get up

at 4:
00 A.M. every day

to work at the donut shop,

then head to work at the

rock quarry after school.

But... mmm.

But I still find time every

week to volunteer here,

helping out good citizens like Mr.

Adams.

Here you go.

Because...

That's what my dad

taught me to do.

He's away fighting in Canada,

defending our country,

but he said, "son,

everyone can serve in some way,

even if it's just by

serving our fellow man."

And contestant number seven.

Yeah, yo.

Wow, Mia, those sure are

seven lucky teenagers.

Wait a second.

Did you say "seven"?

I did say "seven."

But there should be

eight contestants.

Well, silly, the eighth

one is a surprise.

They don't even know

they've been picked yet.

- From Northside high...

Contestant number eight

of big Jim's dream

car contest is...

- Farrell Bennett!

- What?

Yes! Oh, yes, I win.

I win, everyone.

Thank you so much. I don't

care about this anymore.

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