The Standoff
- Year:
- 2016
- 90 min
- 158 Views
1
Zane, Zane, Zane. Wait, can
you hear this song right now?
This is, like, my favorite song.
Zane, wait, hold on.
Wait, shh, seriously.
Listen, can you hear the song?
Can you hear...
If you can hear it, you
should sing along with me.
It'll be like a duet.
It's super romantic.
- - Did you hear the song?
You don't? Well, I think you
should like my singing.
That's mean of you to say.
Yeah, I know I got all the words wrong.
I've only heard it once,
but it's, like, the best.
No, shut up, I have a
really good voice.
Hey, Zane?
How do you spell
"antidisestablishment-
Arianism"?
I'll never get over it.
Because it was the sixth
worst day of my life.
You've seen my list, okay?
What the... turtle?
Holy...!
Wow. So, this is your
big birthday surprise?
Yep. You know, I think
my dad misunderstood
when I told him I wanted
something "small and sporty."
Yeah, well, it
definitely is small.
You know, I had all these dreams
of packing up the
trunk of my new car
and driving off to college,
independent and adventurous
and in charge of my own destiny.
Now I'm more likely to get
run over by a semi truck
before I even hit the suburbs.
Here, you could use this.
Is there something
wrong with my hair?
Uh, no, nope. I just think
you need a little touch-up.
Oh, yep.
Like, all up in there, yeah.
Okay, yeah you... it's better.
Much better.
- Oh!
- You look good.
You know, the blue
is pretty, though.
It's, like, good for your
skin tone, your eyes.
I'm feeling it.
- My eyes are brown, though.
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
- That was what I said.
- Okay.
- Come on, we're gonna be late.
Okay.
Here's your brush.
Came out of nowhere, like
some kind of ninja turtle,
which I think is where
they got the title from.
Anyway, if it wasn't for
my fear of retribution
from animal rights activists, I
would've just mowed the thing down,
but I made the conscious
decision to, like,
swerve out of the way
and save its life
- because I'm a hero.
- Yeah.
Well, they don't really go over the
whole turtle thing in driver's ed.
They don't, which is
extremely upsetting to me,
because it put a serious
dent in my dream
to be a taxi driver-
slash-male model.
Dude, that was
never gonna happen.
- I couldn't be a taxi driver?
- No, I'm sorry.
On the plus side, a scooter
is super easy to park.
I guess so.
- And it's environmentally friendly.
- True, that's good.
And on the weekends, you can
make Chinese food deliveries.
- Mmm, okay.
- Specifically to me.
What...?
As if my day wasn't bad enough.
Where is that obnoxious weasel?
I just don't understand why my
dad won't get me another car.
It's every teenager's right
to have a car, okay?
That's in the constitution.
Thomas Jefferson was
all over that one.
dad's side about this one.
Because this is like the
third car you've totaled.
Like everyone hasn't
been through that.
It's part of learning
how to drive!
- I've never totaled...
- Whoa. Ahem!
No. No, no,
no, no, no.
You know, you can be
arrested for that?
- Oh, can I?
- Uh-huh.
Arrested, for committing
this public service?
This is part of my campus
beautification initiative.
You can read about it
in my five-step program,
"how Farrell Bennett
will become president."
Okay, yeah, you know, if you wanted
to clean this campus, Farrell,
- you'd leave it.
- I would never leave this campus.
Did you hear the news? Big Jim is having
a contest. You can win a new car!
I could win a new car.
That's what we were just talking about.
It's fate... thank you.
I don't know who that guy is.
Bye, friend.
- We'll finish this later.
- Yes, we will.
Let's go, Emerson.
- Uh...
- Okay, em, come on.
- Emerson.
Arrested.
Hey, there!
I'm big Jim!
Like you don't already know.
And as always, I'm here
at big Jim's car depot,
- with my loyal dog, Bo!
Hey, wave hi there, Bo!
Now listen up. Here at
big Jim's car depot,
we feel your pain.
You're a teenager, and all
you want is a new car.
Well, how would you
like to win this car?
It's as simple as putting
your hand on this beauty,
and then it's all about
who wants it the most.
The teen who can stand with their
hand on this car the longest
drives her home.
If you're between the ages
of 16 and 19, you can enter,
just text "dreamcar"
to 06578.
Don't you get caught sittin'
in the slow Lane for too long.
You may get left in the dust!
- Come on, Bo!
Okay, so I downloaded an app that will
robotext in entries to the contest,
I've calculated
that by 3:
00,I'll have entered
1.2 million times.
- Oh, you're gonna win.
- Oh yeah.
Wait, dude, this is
the wrong number.
No, it's not. Maybe it is.
I don't care.
- It'll get there, okay? I promise.
- Okay.
Wanna get lunch?
Therefore, fellow citizens
I guarantee that if elect...
Excuse me...
I will endeavor to
eliminate nuclear weapons,
not only from this campus,
but from the entire world.
I will make the
importation of ivory
illegal in all classrooms
in the upper school.
And I will negotiate
a unilateral
cease-fire
that will effectively end the
war with the junior class.
And also, I want to reinstate the
soda machines in the cafeteria
because we don't want no stinkin'
juice boxes anymore, yes!
- Oh, okay.
You guys have been great vote
Farrell, not Amy. Thank you.
Ahem.
Whoo!
Tell 'em, Amy!
Not only does my opponent
promise the impossible,
he promises
the incomprehensible.
- Love you, girl!
- Elect me as your president,
and I promise to have
my opponent expelled.
- Whoo!
- Yes.
- Yes. Whoo!
- They're announcing the contestants
for big Jim's dream car contest
- right now, online!
- It's mine. It's my phone.
- Let me just see.
- Hi, I'm Maya.
- And I'm Mia, and together...
We're M&M.
- And we're here to introduce to you
all the things you don't
want to miss out on.
Today, we're giving you an
of the totally awesome teens who
have been chosen to be contestants
in big Jim's dream car contest.
Let's meet them now.
Here's contestant number one.
I am so stoked to be
the first dude chosen.
I mean, some may question the physical
toughness it takes to compete
in such a grueling sporting
endeavor, but I say
your "physical" is my
"metaphysical," man.
I'm all about the
adrenaline, all right?
I have outrun avalanches
on my snowboard.
I have gone ice climbing on
the glaciers of Antarctica.
And I have fearlessly
surfed alongside
great white sharks
in South Africa.
Nothing is too extreme for me.
If it's got wings or wheels,
or it could end in sudden death,
oh, it's got my name
written all over it.
All right. Keep living
the dream, bros.
Here's contestant number two.
Oh, hi, everyone.
It's Sophie here.
Welcome to my awesome
channel where I clue you in
on all the latest tips and trends
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"The Standoff" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 Oct. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_standoff_21377>.
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