The Secret Lives of Dorks Page #3

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Because Why?

Well, Because I Thought It

Was Going To Be This Super

Heroine Or That Super Heroine.

My Question Is Tres Crafty.

I Think The Stevens Women Are

A Bit More Subtle.

You Know, Like, I Want To Marry

A Stevens Girl.

Well, Then You're A Fool,

Payton.

I Would Make Sweet Love To An

Adam Hughes Drawing.

I Mean, Not Even One Come To

Life -- I Mean The Actual

Drawing.

Hmm.

Don't Worry.

You Know I Always Use

Protection.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ]

This Girl Razor Is...

Quite Fetching.

Be Gentle.

I'm Still Mint.

[ Sighs Deeply ]

Now You've Done It.

[ Gasps ] Oh, No.

Ollie, I'm Sorry.

I Know You Have Dibs On Razor.

And You Say That You're My

Friend?

No Hard Feelings.

I'll Give You My Claim To

Night Nurse.

Not Good Enough!

Uh, Excuse Me, Sir.

Is This Where One Might Find

Information On...Comic Books?

Oh, Hey, Clark.

Nice Jacket.

Oh, Wow.

It's Carrie In A Comic-Book

Shop?

Could My Day Be Any More

Awesome?

Oh, God. He's Looking At Me.

I Got To Get Him To Stop

Drooling All Over Me.

Hey, Carrie.

Hey, Carrie.

Hey, Carrie.

[ Record Scratches ]

Hey, Man, Nobody Knows We're

Here, Right?

Have You Ever Danced With The

Devil By The Pale Moonlight?

What Is That, Comic-Book

Lingo?

'Cause I Never Read Any.

He's Making Fun Of You,

Dumb Ass.

Here.

These Are Good To Start With.

"Spider-Man"?

[ Scoffs ]

Saw The Movie.

Don't Need To Read This One.

Actually, The Comic Book Is

Completely Different From The

Movie.

Whatever. Let's Go.

Hi, Payton.

Have You Ever Checked Out

"Li'l Depressed Boy"?

It's My Favorite Webcomic

Series.

It's About A Shy Guy Who Has A

Hard Time Talking To Girls.

Webcomics Are For People Who

Can't Get Dates.

All Comics Are For People Who

Can't Get Dates.

I Bet Payton Could Get A

Date.

Uh, The Entire Romero Saga Is

Playing At The Tivoli This

Weekend --

"Night Of The Living Dead,"

"Dawn Of The Dead,"

"Day Of The Dead,"

"Land Of The Dead," And

"Diary Of The Dead."

[ Chuckles ]

That's A Lot Of Hot Zombie

Action.

Well, I Don't Know Anyone Who

Wants To Go, And I Don't Want To

Go Alone.

Really?

Because I Also Want To Go, And I

Don't Have Anyone To Go With.

That Sucks.

I Guess We'll Both Miss It.

Hey, Carrie, Do You Like

Zombies?

[ Scoffs ]

What A Dork.

Hey! They're A Perfect Pair!

This Is Just Like Newton's

First Law -- An Object At Rest

Will Stay At Rest, And An

Object In Motion Will Not

Change Its Velocity Unless An

Unbalanced Force Acts Upon

Them.

So If Payton Is The Object At

Rest And Samantha Is The Object

In Motion And I'm The

Unbalanced Force, Then All I

Have To Do Is To Get Them

Traveling Toward Each Other And

Then Collide, And Then Presto!

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