The Secret Lives of Dorks Page #2

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Where Do You Think You're Going,

Payton?

Do You Need To Talk To Me?

I Was Worried About You,

Payton.

You Seemed...Distracted In Class

Today.

Is It Because Your Dad Has A New

Girlfriend?

[ Scoffs ]

My Dad Has A New Girlfriend?

Mm-Mnh-Mm.

Word Around The Water Cooler Was

That He Had A Date.

I Don't Know What You're

Talking About.

There's No One Special In His

Life?

He Would Tell You If There Was

Something Serious Going On,

Wouldn't He?

Yeah, I Don't Know.

So, There's Nobody New In His

Life?

I Don't Know.

So You Don't Know.

You Don't Know.

What Do You Know?

My Dad Only Has Room For Me,

Gale, And Ditka.

Ditka.

Is That That Ukrainian

Supermodel?

No!

No, It's The Former Head Coach

Of The Bears.

Oh!

[ Laughing ] Ditka.

Right.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Inhales Deeply ]

Okay.

Well...

That Will Be All.

Okay.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckling ] Ditka.

Wow. Good Reviews.

Okay, Coach.

You Can Learn A Lot From

Watching Football.

[ Chuckles ]

Amen.

And Parenting, That's A Lot

Like Coaching.

Don't I Know It.

Now, I Know Two Things For

Certain -- Life Is Hard And

It's Not Always Fair, But It

Beats The Hell Out Of The

Alternative.

You've Got To Get Your Son In

The Game, You Got To Get Him

Motivated, And You Got To Get

Him To Finish.

I Can Do That, Coach.

Maybe Your Son's A Dork.

Maybe He's A Little Bit More

Into Comic Books Than He Is

Girls.

It's Like You're Looking Into

My Very Soul, Coach.

You Can Still Guide Them To

Be The Best Dork They Can Be.

Now, Go Out There And Give Him

Hell.

And Remember -- Go, Bears!

Go, Bears!

Go, Bears.

Oh. Looking At Porn, Dork?

What Do You Want, Clark?

To Kick Your Ass.

[ Chuckles ]

What Else?

Boo!

Actually, I Need Your Help.

I'm Already Doing Your Math

Homework And Your Biology Essay.

This Is Different.

This Is Important, Okay?

I Need You To Teach Me

Everything You Know About...

Comic Books.

Why?

Y-You Don't Need To Know

About That.

Okay, Fine.

Meet After School At The

Comic-Book Shop.

[ Sighs ]

I'll Have To Bring Carrie.

I'm All About The Sexy

Ah, Yeah

Uh, Uh

Ah, Yeah

I'm All About The Sexy

Ah, Yeah

Come Closer, Payton.

Well, I Mean...I Guess I-If

You L-- If You Have To Bring

Her, Then, You Know, I Guess...

I Guess It's All Right.

And She Can't Find Out About

This.

I Guess You Could Tell Her

The School's Cracking Down On

Cheating And I Have To Pass You

Your Homework Inside Comic

Books.

What -- And She'll Believe

That?

If You Tell Her It Was My

Idea, She Will.

[ Chuckles ]

Cool. All Right.

Dorks.

Who Would You Rather Do?

Oh, My Favorite Game.

An Adam Hughes Girl Or A

Dave Stevens Girl?

Oh, Well, I'm Surprised By

The Question.

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