The Paper Page #4

Alicia Clark.

Give me a break.

- Oh, my God.

- Fred, let him use your phone.

- They stole his radio.

- Isn't that the parking cop?

McDougal has got to be stopped.

- How long will this take?

- Three hours.

You'll be like penguins.

It takes time.

- How was your meeting?

- It was great.

Do you have last month's phone bill?

I wanna talk to Henry first thing.

Your decorator called. She said

the kind of wood Bruno picked out...

for the chair rail was not included

in the guaranteed price...

and you're gonna have to

approve another $600.

Unbelievable. Every time

the phone rings, it's $600.

Also, Robert De Niro's office

called.

- Bobby called?

- Well, his office.

There are two seats left at his table

tonight for the benefit.

- No kidding.

- Yeah.

If you want them,

it's gonna be $500 a plate.

Tell them that we'd love to be

Mr De Niro's guests.

Hit "guests." If they mention

the 500 again... You son of a b*tch.

You promised me.

For God's sakes, Alicia. We're not

gonna ask some news reporter...

to wait until after 5:00

to make out-of-state phone calls.

It's ridiculous.

I'm not gonna do it.

Let's let them make

free phone sex calls too.

You mean as a kind of bonus?

That's not a bad idea.

- Why don't you start with Phil?

- Start what with him?

You think my job's easy?

You think it's fun firing people?

"Firing people"? Is that what

you're gonna start with me?

Aw, Jesus, Bernie.

Come on with the smoke.

You know the doctor found

nicotine in my urine again.

Then keep your dick

out of my ashtray.

That's very funny. Very funny.

Two days after a black kid is killed

in a neighbouring community...

two white businessmen named

Hanson and MacGregor...

get shot up, with racial epithets

written on their car.

Now, in response,

the New York Sun decides to run...

a parking story.

Keighley called me

at 7:
00 this morning.

Yeah, I'll bet he did.

- Bless you.

- Joe, please cover your mouth.

Metro, I assume

we're all over the subway.

Three pieces.

A tick-tock, list of injured,

search for heroes.

Standard transportation

wreck stuff.

- We got any art?

- Yeah.

Eddie picked up

some nice spaghetti shots.

Love the severed arm shot.

Did they find the motorman yet?

Yeah, drunker than a skunk

in his neighbourhood bar.

Oh, God, he derails his train and steps

over bodies to have a few beers?

What do you do

after you step over bodies?

I have a cigarette

and go to sleep.

Here you go. We got an above-average

bank robbery in the Bronx. That's good.

An exploding hand grenade

in Hoboken.

What about something fun?

Don't we have anything fun today?

- Nazis marching in New Jersey.

- There you go.

Nazis are a barrel of laughs.

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