The Oscars Page #3

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# so any time you're feeling low #

# instead of letting go #

# just remember that ant #

# whoops, there goes #

# another rubber tree #

# whoops, there goes #

# another rubber tree #

# whoops, there goes #

# another rubber tree plant #

# ker-plop #

all right.

That did it.

That had to have done it.

What does the headline say now?

Seth macfarlane proves to be mediocre host.

It helped but still not enough.

Seth macfarlane proves to

be mediocre host.

That's actually the best

review I've ever gotten

so I'm going to go ahead and

take that if that's okay.

Are you sure you want to be the

first Oscar host to get a bad review?

Fine, fine, what else do I

do that screws up the show?

Well, you're incredibly disrespectful

to one of the evening's

most prestigious nominees,

look at what happens

in the green room.

Hey, how's it going?

- Oh, my God.

- Isn't this cool? "Flying nun. "

You know who is a fan of the

"flying nun" in this room?

This guy.

- Really?

- Me.

That's great. Thanks a lot.

- I saw "Lincoln. "

- Oh. Thanks.

I wasn't complimenting you.

I was just saying I saw the movie.

Oh.

You know, when I was a kid I used

to watch "the flying nun" on TV

and I got to tell you I'm not

ashamed to say, you were so hot.

Wow. That's very nice

of you to say that.

And "gidget" you as gidget, so hot.

Don't you have to get back

on stage or something?

No, Adele is out there screaming her

song at everybody. I'm fine. I'm good.

Something about the nun, man,

there's something about

the nun, I don't know

whether it's cause

it's forbidden fruit,

so ridiculously hot.

This is making me uncomfortable.

What are you doing in about 61/2

hours after the show is over.

I'm going to go to

a party or something.

Great. I'm in. C*nt me in, man.

Fire up the transam.

I can't go anywhere.

I'm nop natured.

You have to go

back out there.

You know they're gonna

gove it to Anne Hathaway.

Let's... Lets's go.

Yes, but out of respect,

I think I have to...

Look, I got a bottle of

wine and some Boniva.

We'll have a great time.

- Give to it Ally.

- They're not gonna give it to Ally.

- Amy.

- I don't kow who that is.

- Jacki.

- No.

- They're gonna give it to Anne.

- Yeah.

I went home with Sally field.

That's awesome.

No, no, it's not.

Sally was supposed to win.

She wasn't there to get the award.

What happened?

Amy Adams ran up and grabbed it.

- She did?

- Yeah.

They tried to take it from

her and she bit a guy.

- Oh, my God.

- Blood all... look, you're almost there.

You got to give them

a big showstopper.

Make your audience feel

welcome and then start the show.

Okay. All right.

I think I got it.

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