The New Guy Page #3
...and knowledge of every action
movie, we're gonna perfect it.
Happens every day.
Same cat. Never gets away.
Come on.
First thing you do is gouge the dude's
eyes out so he can't see to fight.
Hey, this kis in high school.
Then you're going to want to fight
dirty. All right, set your feet.
Spread your palms.
Tiger Claw!
Are you sure is not Tiger Paw?
Tiger Claw!
Now you're ready!
Just watch my hands.
Grab some rope.
You act like you can't get up there.
Motivation is on the way.
Yes, indeedy, feed the needy.
There you go!
Luther, what are you doing?
Get up there! Thas it.
Whas that burning? Is me!
Just roll around.
You'll be all right.
If you can't act tough,
you gotta look tough.
Butch up, girlie-pants!
Got a sec?
What?
Phone call for you, warden.
My wife again?
You talk the talk,
you gotta walk the walk.
Otherwise, you'll be lined in chalk.
Let me introduce you to somebody.
The Funkmaster.
Somebody, give me a beat!
Them crazy eyes?
Like someone hits you in the head and
your eyes almost jump out your skull!
Try it!
This is the "Brother,
where my money" walk.
Where it at?
About to bust a cap.
About to bust a cap.
Flare your nostril up!
You gotta open them up.
So everybody can see the rocks,
the boogers up in there.
Loosen the ass.
Thats too loose.
They'll play you like a b*tch, you
gotta hit them with the b*tch first!
Like, "Who's the b*tch now?"
Watch this.
Try it. Try it!
Who's the b*tch now?
Half Brad Pitt Fight Club, half Anne
Heche if These Walls Could Talk.
For your student I.D.
Your new driver's license.
This one's for the Player's Club.
That ain't right.
Really cock it! You know what
I'm saying? Cock it! Fire! Cock it!
Shoot the gun! Shoot the gun!
Tiger Claw!
Dude, pretty nice.
Now you ready for your new prison.
Mascot, you dropped your bagpipe.
Thank you.
Suck on that, pal!
Tuba midget!
Have a nice day!
This place is a zoo!
He did say 12:
30.So where is he?
What the hell is that?
Good luck, kid.
Flip him!
Back in the truck!
Is that...
...Diz?
Oh, my God!
He's got kind of a...
...Brad Pitt thing going there.
From b*tch to bull, baby.
I saw a little Anne Heche there too.
Does that sound gay?
"Find the biggest, baddest mother in
the yard, and knock his ass out."
Lift your knees, maggots! Maybe we'll
win one sorry-ass game this year!
I'm gonna puke.
Use it. Keep looking
at the horse's ass and run!
Biggest and baddest.
More cheer, less pole dance.
Don't want guys stuffing
bills down your panties.
What panties?
Don't I have a dreamy boyfriend?
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"The New Guy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_new_guy_14711>.
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