The Meaning of Life Page #5

to the house of Rashomon,

and there,

slew they the goats,

yea, and placed they

the bits in little pots.

Here endeth the lesson.

Let us praise God.

O Lord.

O Lord.

Ooh! You are so big.

Ooh! You are so big.

So absolutely huge.

So absolutely huge.

Gosh, we're all really impressed

down here, I can tell You.

Gosh, we're all really impressed

down here, I can tell you.

Forgive us, O Lord, for this,

our dreadful toadying.

And barefaced flattery.

But you're so strong,

and, well, just so super.

Fantastic.

Amen, Reverend.

Amen.

Now two boys have been found

rubbing linseed oil

into the school cormorant.

Now some of you may feel that the

cormorant does not play an important part

in the life of the school,

but I would remind you

that it was presented to us by the

corporation of the town of Sudbury,

to commemorate Empire Day,

when we try to remember

the names of all those

from the Sudbury area,

who so gallantly

gave their lives

to keep China British.

So from now on, the cormorant

is strictly out of bounds!

Oh, and, Jenkins,

apparently, your mother

died this morning.

Chaplain.

O Lord, please don't burn us

Don"t grill or toast

Your flock

Don"t put us on the barbecue

Or simmer us in stock

Don't braise

or bake or boil us

Or stir-fry us in a wok

Oh, please don't

lightly poach us

Or baste us with hot fat

Don"t fricassee or roast us

Or boil us in a vat

And please don"t

stick thy servants, Lord

In a Rotissomat

He's coming!

All right, settle down,

settle down.

Now, before I begin the

lesson, will those of you

who are playing in the match this

afternoon move your clothes down

onto the lower peg

immediately after lunch,

before you write

your letter home,

if you're not getting your hair cut,

unless you've got a younger brother,

who's going out this weekend as the

guest of another boy, in which case,

collect his note before lunch,

put it in your letter after

you have had your haircut,

and make sure he moves your clothes

down onto the lower peg for you.

Now...

Sir?

Yes, Wymer?

My younger brother's going out

with Dibble this weekend, sir.

But I'm not having my hair cut

today, so do I move my clothes...

I do wish you'd listen, Wymer.

It's perfectly simple.

If you're not

getting your hair cut,

you don't have to move your brother's

clothes down to the lower peg.

You simply collect his note

before lunch,

after you've done

your scripture prep,

when you've written

your letter home before rest,

move your own clothes

onto the lower peg,

greet the visitors

and report to Mr. Viney

that you've had

your chit signed.

Now, sex.

Sex, sex, sex.

Where were we?

Well, had I got as far as

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