The Jeff Dunham Show Page #2
Season #1 Episode #6- Year:
- 2009
- 99 Views
Jeff:
Just the fact that you've been married for- I'm sorry,I spit all over myself here. Sorry.
Walter:
Cut. That was worse than watching that frickin' kiss. At least theirs was fake. You actually got spit on me a**hole.Jeff:
All right! Look, Walter, the fact that you've been married for 50 years means you've been doing something right.Walter:
Hell, I've had back hair for 50 years. Do I get a medal for that, too?Jeff:
I know you're joking. Otherwise, we wouldn't have given you your own relationship advice segment.Walter:
Well, you know how much I love helping folks out.* It's Walter's Relationship Advice. *
Walter:
I hate this already.Walter:
So, what's your frickin' problem?"Well, my big problem is she gets paid on Tuesdays. She'll, uh, go to the casino and play bingo. And her paycheck is always gone by Thursday."
Walter:
Wow, a 21-year-old hot chick who isn't responsible with money? Derek, you found yourself a unicorn."The thing that's bothering me most right now is just, every time I get off work, he's playing Xbox. So I'm basically stuck sitting around twiddling my thumbs."
Walter:
Derek, have you played that new game, Stop Wasting Your Life and Bone Your Hot Girlfriend?"I haven't tried that one yet."
Walter:
It's PlayStation."Oh. Well, that's why i have the Xbox, so..."
Walter:
Right, yeah. It's unfortunate. Next!Walter:
Holy crap. So, what's your frickin' problem? Besides the obvious."Uh, for one, it's jealousy. Jaw drops over every guy that he sees."
"No, no. See, he's wrong. He likes to, uh, have arguments with me and break up and then run to his exes."
Walter:
Well, ladies, I think I have a solution to make all your problems disappear. Stop being really, really, really, gay.Walter:
Uh, hello, everyone."Hi Walter."
"Hey, Walter."
Walter:
And the little one is?"Royal."
Walter:
Royal. Hi, Royal. Oh, she is so cute. Hey, little baby.* That was Walter's Relationship Advice. *
Walter:
Holy crap.Achmed:
Coming up, I try to take down America by joining the Marines. Oo-rah! Then Bubba J talks to an Irishman, and between the two of them, you can't understand a stinking word.
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"The Jeff Dunham Show" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_jeff_dunham_show_24155>.
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