The Jeff Dunham Show  Season #1 Episode #6

Genre: Comedy

Greetings, infidels! And now make a big loud noise for Jeff Dunham!

Thank you! Thank you so much! Thank you! Well, thank you and thanks to all of you, especially the

applause-sign guy. Thanks, wherever he is. What a great audience. Wow. Whatever they gave you guys before you came in, it's certainly working. I really feel the love in this room. It's a shame I'm about to offend every single one of you. But I'm very happy to be here tonight. I know there's another guy who's happy to be anywhere. Please help me welcome my old buddy Peanut.

What? What are you looking at?

What's with the tie?

Oh, dude, this is a very special evening.


We're revealing The Jeff Dunham Show dancers.

Yeah, Peanut convinced me that our show needed dancers.


So we actually went to a dance studio.


We auditioned folks,


And I still don't know why we need dancers.

Dude, it's a comedy-variety show


We need variety. And a little comedy wouldn't hurt either. You got served! You got served! I mean, besides, every great show has dancing.

What do you mean?

You know, like Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, jack-ass.

jack-ass never had dancing.

Oh, no, I was just calling you a jack-ass.

Just show the auditions.

Hey, how's it going?

"I'm doing good."

Peanut, this is Brim. This is Peanut.

"What's up, Peanut?"

Oh, good to see you, Brim. So listen, I want dancers that are three-quarters black Michael Jackson and one-quarter white Michael Jackson. Can we do that?

"I believe we can accommodate you on that."

We're gonna be like, like judges, right?


I'm gonna be Simon.


And Brim, you can be, you know, Randy Jackson since you're... you know.


And you're gonna be the emotionally unstable chick. Yeah, trust me, it's good. Really. You don't have to do much to get there. Uh, uh, hello, I am Peanut and I am the creator of The Jeff Dunham Showdancers. Now I want to see so much hip-hop, I'll feel like I'm back in Compton! Let's do this!


Stop, stop. Cut the music. All right, all right, thank you. Excuse me, #31576, could you step forward, please? So, I almost let you go. Do you know why I didn't?

"Cause my body roll."

Well, actually, it's because I need a decaf latte. Could you go get that for me, please? Oh, I'm just kidding. I need a cappuccino and a bear claw.

"Bear claw."

"All right, Peanut, so this is the part that we bring 'em in one by one, and it gives you a chance to kinda see what they're all about.


"Can we bring in number one?"

Bring it. Bring it. Bring it! Don't bring it. Take it away. Now give it. Now let somebody else have it. You're a swan. A swan. You're a muskrat. You're an eagle. Now a penguin. Can you do The Robot? Okay, now talk like a robot.

"I am a dancing machine robot."

This guy's good.How are you?

I don't understand any of this.


"Nice, nice. Good job. Good job. Oh, yeah."

Could you get me another coffee? Next!


Oh hello.


Uh, what was your name?


Emily. And where are you from?


Sweden! Okay, everybody out!


Out! Out! Except you. I'm not gonna say you won, but uh... you have a pretty good shot. More wine?

I'm making this song up as I go along. No big deal.

I call it "Emily." I don't even know if you can dance. But who cares? I can't either.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Jeff Dunham

Jeffrey "Jeff" Dunham (born April 18, 1962) is an American ventriloquist and comedian who has also appeared on numerous television shows, including Late Show with David Letterman, Comedy Central Presents, The Tonight Show and Sonny With a Chance. He has six specials that run on Comedy Central: Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself, Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity, Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special, Jeff Dunham: Controlled Chaos, Jeff Dunham: Minding the Monsters, and Jeff Dunham: All Over the Map. Dunham also starred in The Jeff Dunham Show, a series on the network in 2009.His style has been described as "a dressed-down, more digestible version of Don Rickles with multiple personality disorder". Describing his characters, Time magazine said, "All of them are politically incorrect, gratuitously insulting and ill tempered." Dunham has been credited with reviving ventriloquism, and doing more to promote the art form than anyone since Edgar Bergen.Dunham has been called "America's favorite comedian" by, and according to the concert industry publication Pollstar, he is the top-grossing standup act in North America, and is among the most successful acts in Europe as well. As of November 2009, he has sold over four million DVDs, an additional $7 million in merchandise sales, and received more than 350 million hits on YouTube as of October 2009 (his introduction of Achmed the Dead Terrorist in Spark of Insanity was ranked as the ninth most watched YouTube video at the time). A Very Special Christmas Special was the most-watched telecast in Comedy Central history, with its DVD selling over 400,000 in its first two weeks. ranked Dunham as the third highest-paid comedian in the United States behind Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock, and reported that he was one of the highest-earning comics from June 2008 to June 2009, earning approximately $30 million during that period. Dunham also does occasional acting roles. He achieved the Guinness Book of World Records record for "Most tickets sold for a stand-up comedy tour" for his Spark of Insanity tour, performing in 386 venues worldwide. more…

All Jeff Dunham scripts | Jeff Dunham Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted by logan_s 2 on April 10, 2019


Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • Chinese - Simplified 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • Chinese - Traditional 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Spanish Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • Japanese 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Portuguese Português (Portuguese)
  • German Deutsch (German)
  • Arabic العربية (Arabic)
  • French Français (French)
  • Russian Русский (Russian)
  • Kannada ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • Korean 한국어 (Korean)
  • Hebrew עברית (Hebrew)
  • Ukrainian Український (Ukrainian)
  • Urdu اردو (Urdu)
  • Hungarian Magyar (Hungarian)
  • Hindi मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesian Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italian Italiano (Italian)
  • Tamil தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Turkish Türkçe (Turkish)
  • Telugu తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • Thai ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Vietnamese Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Czech Čeština (Czech)
  • Polish Polski (Polish)
  • Indonesian Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Romanian Românește (Romanian)
  • Dutch Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Greek Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latin Latinum (Latin)
  • Swedish Svenska (Swedish)
  • Danish Dansk (Danish)
  • Finnish Suomi (Finnish)
  • Persian فارسی (Persian)
  • Yiddish ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • Armenian հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norwegian Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English English (English)

Discuss this The Jeff Dunham Show script with the community:


Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


"The Jeff Dunham Show" STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 15 Oct. 2019. <>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

The Jeff Dunham Show

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.