The Great Masquerade Page #6

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I got post cards, you see that?

Milton Arms, not bad huh?

Or a nice little cubbie hole

at a hotel downtown

that I use for very

special occasions.

Or we could uh, probablyjust

go on out in the car

and save a couple of bucks.

- Not very subtle are you?

- Subtle?

Subtle for what?

- Well I mean,

a girl doesn't like to be rushed.

- Hey I already bought

you two drinks.

Now you owe me something.

Now come on, I wanna get back in

time for the ball game.

- Let go of my arm.

- HEY-

What do you think you're here for.

I said I wanna be back in time

for the ball game

I don't wanna play games.

Of course all I want is a quickie.

- All you want is a quickie huh?

Well.

No way to treat a lady.

- You okay Rocky boy?

Jesus you gotta watch out for these

damned women libbers.

- Hey nice comeback.

Your face looks like a blood test.

Take my wife please.

My wife went to the beauty parlor,

she got a mud pack,

for two days she looked nice.

Then the mud fell off.

- Don't push so hard.

- I'll never get it in

if I don't push hard.

You should have oiled it.

- Just shut up

and stick it in.

- Put some Vaseline on it first.

Go on. - Oh alright.

Like this. -All around.

- Is that better? - Much better.

Look it's almost in now.

- Oh it still

doesn't fit right.

Try to push it to the left honey.

Wait it's

getting scratched.

- Scratched it's getting scratched?

- How could it get scratched?

- Yeah how could it get scratched?

It's got a ton of Vaseline on it.

- Maybe I have it

in the wrong hole'?

- Well that's good, he's got it

in the wrong hole.

- Wanna put it in a

different place or something?

- I've never put it in

the wrong hole before.

- Well then just push it

and maybe it will go in

all the way okay?

On three this time, one, two, three.

Wow it's in, it's in.

- It's in, it's in?

- What's the matter now Sherwood?

- I was just wondering will I ever

be able to get it out?

- You gotta get it out.

It's no fun if you don't get it out.

- See it's stuck.

- Oh boy, well just leave it

where it is honey,

okay, let's just go out to dinner.

- They can't go out to

dinner like that.

- But my cuff links are in

there and my wallet.

- Oh no.

Okay here we go again.

- Wait, wait, it's cracking.

Look.

- What?

- Something.

Something.

- What's the matter?

What is it?

- That looks like a...

- How's about the linguine?

- She's great linguine Vito.

- She done yet? - Almost done.

(knocking at door.

- Yeah?

- One two buckle my shoe.

- What's this one two

buckle my shoe bit.

- What do you mean,

it's the password.

- That's right.

- Well, I just passed with honors.

I am now a full fledged

female impersonator.

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