The Goodbye Girl Page #4

up on the stage where they belong.

You put them down in real life

and the whole world gets screwed up.

Well, I have had enough!

I am not getting kicked out

of the same lousy apartment twice.

You want your money back, go to Naples.

You want this apartment,

buy me two tickets to California.

I'll give you two minutes

to think it over before I yell rape.

You are really somethin', you know that?

I'm surprised Tony didn't take a job

in the Philippines.

I hope you're thinking, 'cause I'm counting.

Will you wait a second?

Just hold it! Can we make a deal?

- What kind of a deal?

- I don't know, I just got here.

- Can I have a cup of coffee?

- No!

Don't be bashful,

just say what's on your mind!

All right, here is the situation...

I know the situation!

Let me say it out loud.

I don't believe this myself!

Number one, I have a job off-Broadway

but no place to sleep tonight.

Number two, you don't have any money,

but you've got my apartment.

And you have a daughter to think about.

I am thinking of her right now!

Do me the courtesy of hearing me out! Please!

You are not the only one

who can scream "rape," you know.

We are both in a bind, the two of us.

I think the only practical solution

is that we share the apartment.

I accept.

What?

I accept. I may be stubborn

but I'm not stupid.

Mean it?

I have a daughter who goes to school

and I have to start looking for a job.

You have a key! I'd have to stand guard

all day long to keep you out.

I accept. You win. Get your bags.

You get the small bedroom.

What the hell am I getting myself into?

I'm in the wrong room.

Hi, I'm Elliot.

Hello.

- You must be Lucy.

- That's right.

Elliot Garfield.

I'm moving into the other room.

I'm a friend of Tony's.

You know, Tony DeForrest.

That's nice.

- I'm an actor, too.

- Yeah?

Well, your mother knows.

I see.

- Guess I'll be seein' you around.

- I guess so.

Good night.

Jesus.

Just met Lucy.

- What did you tell her?

- I was moving into the other room.

- She seemed to take it in stride.

- You grow up fast in this apartment.

The john is right over there.

I'll get the rest of her things out

in the morning.

Would you stop grinding your teeth for two

seconds? The noise is driving me crazy.

A dripping stranger from Chicago,

with a wet beard and dirty shoes...

...moves into my daughter's room

and you expect smiles?

You're dynamite. I love listening to you.

I hate living with you,

but your conversation is first-class.

This is your room.

I do not clean or make beds.

You may use the kitchen

or the bathroom when I am not in it...

...and wash it up when you are through!

You pay for your own food,

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