The Fake News with Ted Nelms Page #5

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this amazing, inspiring cause?

Just send,

you know, send, like, all the panties

that you can... Uh-huh.

...to the address

on the website.

And you want fresh

packaged underwear?

Oh, god, no. What?

Yeah, no.

I mean, if

-- I-i-if that's what you have, sure.

Ideally, it's been -- You know,

it's a little lived-in, right?

So, yeah.

Just send them to the

address on the website,

all types, it doesn't matter

[ Whispers

] and you don't have to wash them.

I'm sorry. What?

What?

Yeah.

You don't have to wash them.

Oh.

So you wash them all here?

Don't worry about it.

Okay.

We take care of it. Great.

Don't -- Don't worry about it.

What?

I didn't say anything.

Okay. I didn't either.

And that's just one

way that every day,

good samari-cans

are pitching in.

I'm Aliana Aliena, proud to

have made my own donation

to

this inspiring new effort.

Pretty

inspiring story, right, Stu McCoy in a tree?

What? Never mind.

Yet another

breaking news story, so many today.

TFN has confirmed that

famed ventriloquist

Eric Lepay has died.

The world will miss Lepay

and his beloved gaggle of puppets.

Our hearts go

out to all of them,

as well as the

215 other passengers

who were onboard

his flight when it crashed.

Eric Lepay, you will be missed.

Ted?

Thanks, Ted.

Guns. Guns?

Half of

America thinks they're instruments of death

designed for killing fellow human beings,

and the other

half is against them.

Last night,

I hosted TFN's "Gun Control Town Hall."

Here's where

things got real.

But that's a tired argument.

Then go to Denmark!

What are you doing here?

- Okay. All right. -Yeah.

Okay. One at a time.

Robert, you were saying?

I was saying

the data is staggering.

There are now

more guns than children.

Wow.

That's arbitrary

and meaningless.

It's true.

Unrestricted

gun ownership

is a

constitutional right.

Guys, what do you

say we just take this

out of the

abstract and make it real?

[ Gunshot ]

-Oh! -Aah!

[ People screaming ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Whimpering ]

It's okay.

It's okay. Relax.

So,

Bethany, you just saw gun violence firsthand.

[ Groaning ]

How are you feeling,

and what are you thinking?

[ Voice breaking ] Uh, maybe,

if there was a -- a good guy

with a gun who, maybe, could

have been here to intervene...

It's a good point, and

a good guy with a gun

could definitely

have stopped me from shooting a second person,

but he'd have no

way of knowing that I've been planning to shoot

Robert

ever since we invited him on this panel.

[ Groaning ]

[ Chuckling

] How did this get so weird all of a sudden?

Ugh.

Just a reminder

-- that awesome town hall

airs tonight at 9:00.

I'm joined

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