The Break-Up Artist Page #3

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that spark with her, you know.

I guess that's why I've been spending

so much time focusing on work recently.

I run this dating

Web site called E-Mate.

E-Mate. Yeah, I know you guys.

You keep me in business.

Sally really is amazing.

It's probably why

I couldn't let her go...

even though I knew

she wasn't the one for me.

She's the first girl who ever

really made me believe in love.

Yeah, well, we all believe in

stupid things every now and then.

Santa Claus, wrinkle cream,

zero-calorie Coke.

Look, you're gonna

be fine, okay?

Pain is temporary.

People get dumped every day.

By the way, um--

Love your outfit.

Chartreuse is the perfect color

for your skin complexion.

Thank you.

Um, look,

here's, uh--

here's my card.

And, uh, it was really nice

to meet you.

Stage-four crier?

No, not at all. I--

I've seen all sorts

of reactions from dumpees--

fear, confusion,

throwing things, begging--

but never anything

like this.

He actually said

it was his fault.

But he's a guy. Men never

admit to their own mistakes.

I know. I mean, okay, let's say

hypothetically love does exist.

Why kind of a girl would take

a guy like Rick for granted?

Ugly nose. Fake b*obs.

Eating disorder.

He needs to get

an eating disorder.

Hey, Brit-Brit.

Can you call

before you come?

I don't have room on my speed dial.

So, I forgot to tell Allan I'm leaving him

for Mike. You need to dump him for me.

I'm supposed to meet him at

Aura in 20 minutes. Better hurry.

Laters.

Brit, we had

two more cancellations today.

They both say this other new

break-up service was cheaper.

Should we be worried?

Also found this message

on your desk, Brit.

TiVo His Girl Friday

with Cary Grant--

Uh-uh-uh.

Um, you two go take care of

Ashley's latest man-tard now.

Go. Go, go, go, go!

I, uh, just wanted

to thank you.

Oh.

- I really appreciate what you do.

If Sally and I had broken up face-to-face,

there would have been crying and screaming...

and curling up in the fetal position,

and nobody needs to see that.

It's no worries.

I'm a people person, so--

Listen, I know this

is gonna sound forward,

but, uh, I'm not a guy who

sits and mopes after a break-up.

Would you join me

for dinner tonight?

Uh--

Oh, uh, company policy

outlaws dating dumpees.

Wow. That so did not go

like I planned.

Uh, I'm sorry.

It's just, uh, you know,

when I saw you--

Obviously,

you're beautiful.

And I guess I'm just

old school.

When I see someone I like,

I just charge full-speed ahead.

It always seemed to work for my hero,

Cary Grant, and that's why I'm here.

You okay?

Uh--

Damn, Gary.

Rough times.

But Lindsay really

enjoyed her time with you.

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