The Break-Up Artist

Synopsis: A woman who gets paid to break people up is forced to become a matchmaker when some new competition muscles her out of the break-up business. Now, in order to save her company (and keep her high-priced wardrobe) she'll have to rely on her old nemesis: love.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Steve Woo
Production: Anchor Bay Entertainment
 
IMDB:
4.9
PG-13
Year:
2009
105 min
23 Views


# It doesn't matter who you are #

# I wish upon a shooting star #

# That you will be the one #

# Who comes to rescue me #

"I love you"-- the most powerful

phrase we utter as humans.

We hear it

at every stage of life,

and it always turns us

into kids again--

wild, playful and with limited

control of our bodily functions.

Love is a many splendored thing.

Love conquers all.

Love is eternal until it ends.

- He'll love it.

And that is where I come in.

Being in love is the bestest, even

better than recess. I love love.

My parents said they found love in the

back of a car and it helped create me.

Hi, Tyler. You look, like,

hotter than Zach Morris today.

I made you this.

Wow, Britney. Thanks.

I'm dumping you.

Heard you got cooties.

Britney has cooties!

Britney has cooties!

Britney has cooties!

Nuh-uh. I was gonna dump him anyways.

Britney has cooties!

Britney has cooties!

Britney has cooties!

Britney has cooties!

Um, sorry.

It's really catchy.

Love blows!

Love... blows.

You're a great person, but this

relationship just isn't working out.

It's time to move on...

for you,

for me, for us.

Sweetie, don't cry. This isn't good-bye.

Okay? It's hello--

hello to a new friendship.

Wait. Who are you again?

I'm Britney. Your ex-boyfriend,

Sean, hired me to dump you.

Oh, no.

It's nothing personal.

It's-- It's what I do.

I'm Britney Brooks,

the break-up artist.

But seriously, I mean, you

met him on a reality TV show.

You were doomed from day one.

So how'd it go?

She was a stage-three crier, Robyn. I

think I got tear stains on my Manolos.

Ohh. Okay, your next client's

name is Linda.

She needs to break

up with her boyfriend.

She can't stand being

in the same room with him.

Gary's just--

He's full of hot air.

He's a liar, huh?

No, no. He farts a lot,

and it's nasty.

Oh.

Wow. I mean, that was just

so clear and concise.

Even I want to break up

with me now.

Here. Um--

On the back

is Dr. Stein's number.

He's a gastroenterologist.

Why would I need a stomach doctor?

With your mother?

We're gonna need something

with sprinkles, stat.

Okay.

Look, Marissa,

I know that it hurts,

but that's what

I'm here for, okay?

Men think all their past

discrepancies will be forgiven...

with fresh roses

or chocolate nougats.

I like nougat.

- No! That's your emotion talking.

All right.

- Here's what you need to do.

First, you need to get through the five

emotional stages of post breakup-dom.

Stage one is denial.

He can't break up

with me because I rock.

Then anger.

That fool, how dare

he deny my rockiness.

Next is bargaining.

Well, you know, maybe if I

did more when we have sex,

he'd realize I rock.

Then depression.

Maybe I don't rock.

And finally, acceptance.

Screw him. I do rock.

Wow. I've never seen someone go

through all the five stages so quickly.

Honey, you're gonna

be fine.

With my mother!

Splitzville, Incorporated.

When you're done kissing him,

we'll start dissing him.

This is Tiffany.

How can I help? Yes.

And we're also running a weekly special on

our "It's not you, it's me" break-up motif.

Never ever wear silk to a break-up meeting,

especially when frosting is involved.

Clients looking to end it all

are unpredictable.

I mean, they're actually

thinking with their heart.

What's wrong with that?

The heart is a "special ed"

organ. It's not supposed to think.

And when you use something for the

wrong purpose, it usually breaks.

Ooh! Air kisses.

- Ashes.

Come on, Brit.

Ashley is your sister.

By blood only.

She's a spoiled, shallow brat...

with the metabolism

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