The Big Sick Page #2

ask people, like,

"how does that make you feel?"

I mean, eventually, yeah.

Right now I'm just

doing fieldwork

with this group of guys who are

convicted of domestic violence.

- Jesus. Oh, wow.

- Cheers to that.

No, don't cheers to that.

To you being a therapist.

Great.

To me getting my master's.

We'll start there and then

we'll go to the rest of it.

So, my roommate, Chris,

is probably on the couch.

He's gonna want to try

and start a conversation.

So, do not engage.

Okay.

Let's go.

- Hey, pal.

- Hey.

Hi.

Good for him. Good for him.

Do you want to watch a movie?

- Sure.

- Okay.

Should I just, like,

put my stuff down or...

Yeah, I would say it's safe.

You know what?

That area's... go for that area.

I cleaned that earlier

this year, so...

Should I take my shoes off

or is this a shoes-on bed?

No, it's a shoes-off bed.

- I have... I have strict rules.

- Cool. Cool.

- Oh, wow.

- Ooh.

- That is totally, uh,

an inflated mattress. -

yeah. Well, did you think

it was gonna be a flat,

inflatable mattress?

I did think it might be

an actual mattress,

but you know.

Well, air mattresses

are actual mattresses.

You're being bigoted...

- Okay.

- Towards air-based...

- Uh-huh. Towards air-air-based mattresses?

- Comfort items.

Night of the living dead?

Sure, I haven't

ever seen that movie.

Okay, so, basically,

the dead start rising.

- Mm-hmm.

- And the good guys, um...

- Text Lauren.

You up, girl?

No, f***, no.

What do you want

to say to Warren?

- She...

What do you want to say to...

You up, period. Send.

That may be beyond

my abilities at the moment.

F***. No.

What are these scars?

Oh, they're, uh,

smallpox vaccination.

I thought only old people

had those.

Well, I'm from Pakistan,

and we're still fighting

some battles

- you guys have already won.

What were you like

in high school?

Were you, like, super funny?

- And were you really smart?

Were you...

I was very shy.

They called me Chashmullee.

What is that?

It roughly translates

to "dweeb."

I'll show you a picture.

Of you in high school?

Oh, my god.

- Boom.

- No.

And I'm thinking

I'm killing it right now.

What inspired this haircut?

Hugh Grant.

- No.

- Yeah.

- Oh, no.

- Big fan.

And you're so serious, too.

Okay. I read in an interview

with Hugh Grant

- he said he doesn't smile.

- No. That's not real.

'Cause it makes his face

look fat, so I didn't...

I didn't smile in pictures

- for many years.

What were you like

in high school?

Um...

Were you, like, voted, like...

- Most sexy?

- No.

I was voted most noticeable.

That's good.

No, it's really not good.

I, uh, had acne and

I was a goth, and...

I had this terrible perm.

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