The Adventures of Beatle Page #3

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for the rest of my natural life?

You think it's funny that I got here

first thing this morning?

I waited two fricken hours

only to have you to tell me

I have to have cash, when I called

before to make sure you take checks

and I was told that you do.

Is there some sort of humor in the fact

that it's now almost

four o'clock in the afternoon

and for all I know you've towed my

f***ing car already,

and you can't help me out

with ten f***ing cents.

When I'm already paying $819

to you goddamn highway robber.

Where's the f***ing punchline, a**hole?

Because I'm obviously

not too quick on the pickup today.

[EXHALES]

No.

Sorry, you have to pay the whole thing.

Does anyone have a dime I can borrow?

It doesn't have to be a dime, um...

Two nickles?

- [MAN COUGHS]

- Nickle and five pennies?

- Anybody? Please?

- MAN:
Sorry.

Here, senorita.

- Thank you. Thank you.

- De nada.

Look, I'll grant you, I do enjoy

a little artistic flare here and there.

It helps me fill in the occasional gap,

you know what I mean?

I actually think that

it makes things more interesting.

For example, the DMV may have

been a bit more like...

Seriously, we don't take checks.

As opposed to my version,

which you have to admit

is far more entertaining, right?

Here you are, picking up a payment.

- Payment for what?

- For a hit, of course.

- Oh, because I'm an assassin.

- Well, aren't you?

What does the evidence say?

You know, that park has had

security surveillance cameras

in operation for over a decade?

And they take a shot every 45 seconds.

Oh, and please if you will,

Beatle, note the time stamp right there.

You've got to f***ing

love those things, right?

They're absolutely incredible

at placing a certain individual

in a certain spot, at a certain time,

Doing a certain thing.

And in some cases,

committing a certain crime.

- It's certainly detailed.

- Yeah.

So while I may be guilty of peppering in

a little artistic flare here and there.

The one thing that you can be sure of

is that where the facts are concerned,

the parts that really matter,

I absolutely have all the evidence

I need to take this to a court of law.

Care to explain this receipt to me?

I'll tell you what I think happened.

Kyle's car breaks down

and he calls a towing company.

You. You show up, you see

he's giving her a hard time.

He's got his hands around her neck,

and he's strangling her.

So you decide to knock him out, right.

What did you use? A tire iron, a wrench?

Come on, Beatle, am I getting warm?

Beatle Boyin Towing/Assassination?

You the mighty assassin, you bust up Kyle,

and you whisk away

your damsel in distress, Athena.

I've got to be getting

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