The Adventures of Baron Munchausen Page #3

---

There's no one on the rack but me

Act four

is set in an abattoir.

I see a lot of slapstick.

We begin with the arrival

of the eunuchs' chorus who sing...

"Cut Off in My Prime."

Cut off in my prime

Surrounded

By beautiful women

all the time

A eunuch's life is hard

And nothing else

Excuse me a moment.

Oh, you won't want

to miss this aria.

It reminds me

of my school days in England.

Life is rather like a game

It's important that you win

And though it seem

a terrible shame

If you lie and cheat

And sin

Lay up and win

The game

Steady.

Where the hell's Berthold?

- Don't know.

- I though he was with you.

Well, if he's not here

in three and a half minutes...

the sultan

will cut off my head!

- And?

- And?

Is that all?

I'm sorry,

I don't find that funny. Do you?

This isn't a joke!

It's a wager!

A wager!

He's asleep.

I can hear him snoring.

- About 900 miles away.

- Come on.

He's under a tree!

Near Belgrade.

- What?

- There's a bottle beside him.

- Hope he hasn't been at it.

- So do I.

What's the wind speed, Gus?

Three knots.

I'm a modern man

These days I find

you have to be

Awfully cruel to be kind

I'm a modern man

You will agree

It's either you or me

Well!

Time's nearly up, I think.

Ready.

Now!

- Not late, am I?

- No.

Not late,

thank you very much.

Thanks.

I needed a trim.

- Much obliged.

- From the empress.

Delicious!

You win.

Treasurer, allow my friend here

to take from the treasury...

as much as the strongest man

can carry.

Yes.

That's it.

Thanks, squire.

I must speak

with the sultan.

- What is it?

- Excellency! They've taken everything!

What?

Gustavus!

Stop them!

Bring them back!

Gustavus! Again!

Fire!

Don't shoot!

- Stand firm!

- Take cover, my friends.

Regroup!

Let me in!

And so...

as you can see,

the sultan is still after my head.

Hey, wait!

Stop! Don't go!

Come back!

There's more!

I haven't finished!

Don't leave now!

We're about to make off

with the sultan's treasure.

You can't just stop.

The name's Desmond, mate.

We're actors, not figments

of your imagination! Now get a grip!

Oh, come back!

What the devil is the sultan playing at?

It's Wednesday, isn't it?

I'm terribly sorry about the show.

One or two minor setbacks here, sir.

This theatre's closed. I want you

and your company out of the city.

Oh, no, sir! No!

No, sir. Please!

Give us a say! Sir, look at these

favorable endorsements from Europe.

"Mr. Salt's company holds a mirror

up to nature." "Vienna Clarion."

"Great value for money."

"Paris Echo."

"A good night out." "Glasgow Herald."

Just give us one second.

Here, boy.

Good boy. It's all right.

Here, boy!

Are you all right?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes